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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689735">EO Oneshot Series</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterKC/pseuds/WriterKC'>WriterKC</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Autumn, Bensler, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Getting Older, Her Negotiation and Lewis's trial rewrites, Hurt/Comfort, Mother's Day, One-Shots, Reunions, Stalked rewrite, Taboo rewrite, Thanksgiving, Unconditional Love, collection, established EO</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:42:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,959</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterKC/pseuds/WriterKC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots for anyone who loves fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, friendship, romance and EO. Enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Partner's Love Has No Limits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: Ok, I'm still working on Father of Mine but this will be for any random one-shot ideas that nag at me while I'm trying to finish my multi-chaps. Heehee. EO of course! This first one is set in Season 7 during the episode 'Taboo' based on a twitter conversation last night. Elliot and Kathy are divorced and Elliot and Olivia are together</p><p>Oneshot one: "A partner's love has no limits"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Olivia loved fall. It wasn't too hot or too cold, it was the perfect mix of in between. Colorful and crisp. Days were still warm but nights were cool enough to be spent sitting by the fire cuddling with the man she loved. Pumpkin Spice coffee for work every morning from the local cafe' was refreshing and so much better than the stuff Munch made.</p>
<p>It was also during the season of fall 7 years ago that she started SVU and met her partner, her once married partner who she was pretty sure she started falling in love with that first year: Elliot Stabler.</p>
<p>"Honey? You coming to bed?" His voice is like a warm blanket sheltering her from the dark, cold, thoughts going through her head from their current case that had kept her up for the last 4 nights.</p>
<p>"Liv, sweetheart I want to save this baby as much as you do, and we will, but you have to take care of yourself. You need sleep."</p>
<p>"I'm fine El." She starts but stumbles as soon as she stands and collapses into his chest as he catches her in his arms.</p>
<p>"You're exhausted."</p>
<p>"El I'm-"</p>
<p>"If you tell me you're fine again I'm taking you to the hospital." This time she looks at him and there are tears in her eyes.</p>
<p>"It could have been me, Elliot. All those years ago. Sometimes I wonder why my mother didn't just do something like that you know? Just throw me in the trash so she wouldn't have to raise the reminder of-"</p>
<p>"Liv-" He's cut off by a sob as she leans her head on his shoulder and buries her face in his neck.</p>
<p>"I'm right here Livia, I'm right here. Just let it out sweetheart it's alright." She snuggles into him and sniffles.</p>
<p>"You know sometimes I still hate this 'showing your vulnerable side' thing that comes with being in a relationship...and other times I wish that I could just stay in your arms and you could make all these thoughts and this pain and fear go away by just holding me as cheesy as that sounds." He holds her tighter and kisses the crown of her head lightly.</p>
<p>"If that's all it took I'd do it in a heartbeat." She nods against him.</p>
<p>"I know you would." They are both silent for a minute before she continues.</p>
<p>"El?"</p>
<p>"I'm here honey, I'm right here."</p>
<p>"You know...I never knew my father. I have no idea who he is. My mother never told me about him till after I grew up. I'm the product of my mother's rape...yet I could never understand my mother's inability to love me. But at the same time, I don't know that I understand your <em>ability </em>to either El. I'm grateful for it but, you deserve so much better." Her voice breaks again, and he knows she's trying to stop crying. He cradles her face and wipes her tears as she looks at him.</p>
<p>"I've told you before baby that <em>I'm</em> the lucky one. I can't speak for your mother but what I can promise you is that I love you more than you know and I always will. And as for the not understanding part? Unconditional love is like that. It's so strong that we can't make sense of it sometimes but it's there, and it's certain and unshakeable no matter what. You'll always have <em>me, </em>sweetheart, even if it doesn't feel like you have anyone else." She snuggles back into him, never wanting to leave the comfort, safety, and love she always feels in his presence.</p>
<p>"You're the <em>only one I need</em> Elliot Stabler. You're more than enough. Always, and I love you so much."</p>
<p>"Partners Livia. For better or worse, and a partner's love has no limits."</p>
<p>"Since when did you become the romantic?"</p>
<p>"When Cragen told me I had a new partner 7 years ago and I met the most beautiful brunette I've ever known who also scared me when I pissed her off." They both laughed at that. He pulls back and looks into her eyes, stroking her cheek gently and leaning his forehead against hers.</p>
<p>"I love you baby" she closes her eyes, letting his voice soothe her wounds. He kisses her nose and forehead before pulling her in for a long, loving kiss. "No matter what Olivia. Unconditionally"</p>
<p>"I love you too." She whispers and then yawns, falling against him, knowing he would always catch her.</p>
<p>"Come on sweetheart, let's get you to bed." He expects to hear a protest but chuckles when he realizes that she's already fallen asleep on his shoulder. He scoops her up into his arms and carries her back to their bedroom, lying down beside her and pulling the covers over them as she snuggled into his chest. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and wrapped her in his arms and the last thing she heard was "I love you" again before drifting back to sleep in her partner's protective and loving embrace.</p>
<p>At that moment, her shame about her conception was in the back of her mind.</p>
<p>Because Elliot Stabler was all she really needed. He was here and he was more than enough.</p>
<p>She'd been searching her whole life for someone who would love her without limits, and he had been right by her side for 7 years and she knew with all her heart that she felt the same level of love for her partner.</p>
<p>Because a partner's love has no limits.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. You'll Always Be Beautiful to Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: just a little thing I thought of after watching the latest Season 20 preview clip. Liv struggles with the realization that she's getting old and can't do everything she used to, but Elliot cheers her up. Domestic/established EO. Elliot is retired but he and Olivia have been together as a couple for the past 8 years and live together.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="xcontrast">
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p></p>
    <div>
      <p>By the time she got home, she was physically and emotionally exhausted. She hated the toll the day had taken on her. She didn't feel like herself and wanted to go home to Noah's sweet laughter and Elliot's loving embrace. They were her family and they were everything to her.</p>
      <p>It was dark out with only the streetlights to guide her drive to the small, quiet neighborhood just outside the city she, Elliot, and Noah had moved into together. Elliot always left the lamp on in their living room when she had to work late to make sure she got in the house safely. Their home smelled like homemade cooking, a skill Elliot had picked up since retiring,and there was a note saying there were leftovers for her if she was hungry-<em>With all our love, El and Noah</em>. Elliot had been signing his notes to her <em>With all my love </em>since they became more than work partners when he retired. To the outsider, it sounds cheesy, but it means so much to her because she had been alone most of her life, and he never wanted her to forget that no matter how hard the day might have been, there was still someone who loved her very much: him (and now Noah as well). She set her purse down and sighed, despite the aches in her body her heart felt warm. She was home. She heard noises coming from Noah's room and smiled recognizing it as her partner's fatherly/playful voice and her son's childlike laughter. Elliot had told her once that one of the things he missed most was reading to his kids. He had such a soft, tender side that came out outside of work and it made her fall even more in love with him. Sometimes they would read to Noah together if she was home on time, but he always read to the little boy even if she couldn't be there.</p>
      <p>She knocked on the door quietly and they looked up.</p>
      <p>"Look who's home Noah?" Elliot spoke up with his signature Stabler grin, and Noah jumped out of bed to hug Olivia who picked him up.</p>
      <p>"MOMMY!"</p>
      <p>"NOAH!" They laughed. "Mommy missed you today sweet boy." She kissed him on the head and squeezed him tight before putting him back into bed and going over to Elliot.</p>
      <p>"Hey beautiful." He kissed her and scooted over, making room for her on the bed and she laid in the center snuggling up with her favorite guys.</p>
      <p>"So what kind of trouble have you boys gotten into today?" Elliot chuckled and turned to Noah, speaking in a playful tone again.</p>
      <p>"Trouble? What's she talking about? We've been on outstanding behavior haven't we son?"</p>
      <p>"Yeah! Dad took me to get ice cream, and then we went to the park with Eli and then we came back here and dad played catch with me in the yard cause I asked him to cause that's what other boys in my class got to do with their dads. Then he made dinner and helped me with my homework, I can count to 30 now mommy!"</p>
      <p>"Yay! I am so so proud of you."</p>
      <p>"That's what dad said! And he said that if I can count to 70 by the weekend he'll take me to the zoo and get me more ice cream!"</p>
      <p>"Did he now? Bribery Stabler?" She smirked.</p>
      <p>"Hey it worked for the older kids." She rolled her eyes and he kissed her temple. Kathy had died in a car accident a couple years before Elliot retired, and his kids didn't take long to think of Olivia as more of a mom than stepmom. They were 'their' kids now instead of just his, and she loved all of them with all her heart. When they decided to adopt Noah a few years ago, their family grew and the older kids loved their new baby brother like their own. Olivia yawned and groaned causing Elliot to chuckle.</p>
      <p>"Noah I think mommy's falling asleep on us."</p>
      <p>"I'm sorry guys." She sighed sadly and yawned again. Elliot got off the bed and Olivia inwardly groaned when he had to help her because her joints felt stiff. They tucked Noah in, and the minute they were out of his room, Olivia slumped against Elliot who wrapped his arms around her securely and kissed her head.</p>
      <p>"Rough day?"</p>
      <p>"I'm old El." He chuckled.</p>
      <p>"Welcome to the club." She smacked his chest lightly and shook her head, burying herself in his arms again.</p>
      <p>"Not helping Stabler."</p>
      <p>"Ok. What's the matter? Why the long face?"</p>
      <p>"This is just my face. My old, wrinkly face."</p>
      <p>"Hey, you're gorgeous baby. Flawless in my eyes you know that." They make their way into their bedroom and lay on the bed. He pulls her feet onto his lap and unties her shoes. She looks tense, worn out and he wants her to feel loved and taken care of.</p>
      <p>"When did you first realize it El? When did your body start betraying you?"</p>
      <p>"Hey what is this? What happened?" He takes off her shoes and begins massaging her feet, helping her relax.</p>
      <p>"I <em>oh god El you're a miracle worker.</em> I got winded while chasing uhhh mmmm." Her sentence cut off with a moan when he hit a particular sore spot on her arch.</p>
      <p>"Does that hurt sweetie?"</p>
      <p>"no, no god I've been sore all day but that feels amazing."</p>
      <p>"So you got winded huh?"</p>
      <p>"Yeah. And now an innocent woman has a broken leg because the old lady cop couldn't catch the guy in time. I was out of breath, my legs felt like lead, and now I just ache everywhere. I don't feel like myself Elliot." He worked his way up to her ankles, massaging the tight muscles there."</p>
      <p>"Liv that's life-"</p>
      <p>"That's what Fin said. I guess I just never let myself think about the changes in my body getting older. I've always felt invincible, like Wonder Woman. Today I feel like an old, fat useless blob. It's not fair."</p>
      <p>"You're <em>my</em> Wonder Woman." Elliot kissed her forehead, massaging the sore muscles of her legs and thighs. "I have some news that might make you feel better." He stopped his ministrations for a moment to get her some sweats and one of his old t-shirts</p>
      <p>"You invented a time machine?" He chuckled, walking back over to her and laying next to her again.</p>
      <p>"I went to the doctor today. Your old man needs glasses Liv." She gives him a quick kiss on the lips.</p>
      <p>"I love this old man." She leans her head on his shoulder. "It's different for you guys El. You're still handsome and sexy no matter how much you age. This?" She points to her body and he cuts her off with a deep kiss.</p>
      <p>"Is the sexiest woman I've ever known, and always will be."</p>
      <p>"Please Elliot, don't tell me there's not some hot young blonde teacher at Noah's preschool or young single mom in the park today." He kisses a spot behind her ear. "Not my type. I'm a badass brunette kinda man."</p>
      <p>"There weren't any of those?"</p>
      <p>"Olivia, baby <em>you</em> are my type. <em>Only</em> you." He kisses the pulse point on her neck.</p>
      <p>"You're not bored of me?"</p>
      <p>"Never." He undid the buttons on her slacks and pulled them down her legs.</p>
      <p>"If I wasn't so sore and exhausted this could lead somewhere."</p>
      <p>"We'll just have to start earlier next time." Elliot smirked. "Leggings or sweats?"</p>
      <p>"Sweats. I'm too fat for leggings. My curves are sagging." Elliot rolled his eyes but pulled the sweats over her legs. With them, intimacy didn't always mean sex. It was things like this, Elliot massaging her and simply helping her dress and relax that made her feel special, loved, and cared for just as much.</p>
      <p>"Even if that were true I'd still love those sags, all of them." She smacked him lightly and they both laughed. "Your back sore too?"</p>
      <p>"Ugh yes. I think I need a chiropractor."</p>
      <p>"Turn on your side." He began to work his hands into the muscles of her back, careful not to hurt her.</p>
      <p>"Mmm El I think you were in the wrong line of work." He chuckled, helping her sit up and lean against his chest so he could give the same attention to her tense neck and shoulders.</p>
      <p>"I know what you mean Liv. I remember my first time feeling old on the job too. It just happens, but this baby's lasted you a good twenty years." He teased, referring to her body as if it were a car and she laughed.</p>
      <p>"It just doesn't feel fair. I want to be able to tackle suspects the way I used to and stay up late and play with my son when I get home instead of being exhausted, and make love to my partner without falling asleep after just a kiss."</p>
      <p>"Hey that was both of us, and you're still pretty amazing Liv."</p>
      <p>"Elliot we haven't been able to connect the way we did when you first retired in months. The last time was Valentine's Day, you kissed me, got up to make sure the door was locked and by the time you got back I was asleep. We had to have the rest of our valentine's day during my 10 minute shower before work the next morning, and even then you had to be careful because my joints were stiff from our mattress."</p>
      <p>"We'll get a new mattress."</p>
      <p>"El-"</p>
      <p>"Liv-"</p>
      <p>"Do you remember when we went to the Bahamas?"</p>
      <p>"How can I forget? Honey, we were both younger then, and I don't at all agree that it's not as good as it used to be."</p>
      <p>"You don't wish I was more fun?"</p>
      <p>"Olivia don't cheapen yourself like that. I love you, all of you. I'm not going to want you less because we have to make sure it's daylight when we spend time together." He unbuttons her blouse and un hooks her bra so he can help her get her t-shirt on. "Besides <em>I'm </em>older, do you wish I was more fun? Am I not as good as I used to be?"</p>
      <p>"God no, you're perfect." She snuggled closer to him as he un clipped her hair and massaged her scalp.</p>
      <p>"Baby we've known each other for 20 years, and had 12 years where we were only allowed to dream what we'd be like together. I'm never going to get enough of you and be bored. Trust me." He kissed her forehead.</p>
      <p>"Thanks El."</p>
      <p>"I'll tell you what if it's our relationship you're worrying about we can pick a weekend you have off, let one of the older kids babysit Noah and have a little vacation. I'll make sure to buy plenty of coffee and carb filled food to keep our energy up." She laughed out loud at that.</p>
      <p>"I just don't want you to feel like I'm depriving you."</p>
      <p>"Never sweetheart."</p>
      <p>"Sometimes I miss when we were partners and could both stay up for 72 hour stakeouts and kick down doors and take on 3 cases at once, and interrogate together you know?"</p>
      <p>"Me too. But this new arrangement is even better." He pulled the covers over them both and helped her lay down. Then wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest.</p>
      <p>"It is, but I feel like I'm losing myself."</p>
      <p>"You're still a great cop Lieutenant."</p>
      <p>"When Noah graduates high school, I'll be old enough to be his grandmother, I already am!"</p>
      <p>"That just means we get to experience both parenthood and grand parenthood together at once." He teased. "You're an amazing mother Liv. Noah's happy and healthy and loves you more than anything. You're his world, and mine."</p>
      <p>"Elliot?"</p>
      <p>"Yeah?"</p>
      <p>"I needed this tonight. Thank you."</p>
      <p>"Of course. We're partners Liv, for better or worse, till death do us part and all that stuff. Maybe we're not as young as we used to be but we still have plenty to explore. This is forever baby. Till the taps are played and I'm buried in the ground."</p>
      <p>"That better not happen for a long time Stabler. I don't want to be an old maid. If I'm gonna grow old, you're growing old with me."</p>
      <p>"You bet." He kissed her sweetly. "We'll be the dynamic duo of the nursing home and give the nurses headaches like we gave Cragen. We'll sit next to each other to play bingo, synchronize our snores when we're napping in our rocking chairs, remind each other to take our medicine, feed each other if one of us has trouble holding the fork, hold hands when we have to walk with canes, change each others diapers-"</p>
      <p>"Woah there, hold on, I am NOT going anywhere near your DIAPER Elliot Stabler you can get someone else to do that." She teased. She looked up and leaned over him, peppering his face with kisses before snuggling into him again, his strong arms wrapped securely around her and the peaceful lull of his heart beat helping her fully relax. "I love you so much Elliot." There are tears shining in her eyes, he always knows what to say. He leans down to kiss her again, long, slow and gentle, but with every bit of the passion and love they've had for each other since the day they were introduced 20 years ago.</p>
      <p>"And I hope I never get too winded for THAT." She says when he pulls back.</p>
      <p>"We'll just have to keep a timer of how long we can keep the kiss depending on how we're feeling, and a schedule of the best times of day so we have enough oxygen." He teased and paused before continuing. "And I love you so much more."</p>
      <p>"Wrinkles and all?"</p>
      <p>"No matter what happens to our bodies in these next 30 or so years, Olivia Benson? You will <em>always</em> be beautiful to me. Always. Promise you won't forget that?"</p>
      <p>"I promise." At last, the insecurities of the day were fading. She may be getting older, but she had a pretty great partner to grow old with, and she wouldn't have it any other way. At the end of the day, that's what truly mattered. She and her companion drifted off to sleep, knowing that aging was certain and their would be struggles, but the other thing that was certain was the love and bond they shared, and they knew that was one thing that would never get old.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Home At Last</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Shoutout to my awesome friend Alicia (Lightupthesky) for this idea. Love you and thankful to call you my friend! You rock!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>8 years</p><p>She didn't really know why he came to her mind today. He was always there but today for some reason she couldn't stop thinking about him. Maybe it was the case, watching her two detectives in the interrogation room breaking down their suspect in a way that reminded her of herself and her old partner. She glanced at the calendar.</p><p>Today would have been his 57th birthday, and her heart aches to call him and tease him about how old he's getting. She orders Chinese from 'their' place for herself and Noah together and relaxes on the couch in his old grey hoodie.</p><p>She took out the box today that she hasn't opened in a few years. In it is a picture of them and the Semper Fi necklace he had sent her. She had lost the medallion that was on her gun after her ordeal with Lewis. The gun had been confiscated for evidence and she had to get a new one.</p><p>"Mommy who's that man?"</p><p>She looks at Noah and realizes he's pointing at the picture.</p><p>"Just an old friend." Her voice cracks and she swallows the lump in her throat. <em>Man how she misses him.</em></p><p>As far as everyone except her, Kathy, and his kids know, Elliot Stabler died on May 12, 2011. 2 days after the shooting in the precinct. A bomb that was rigged to his car exploded while he was driving home and it was assumed that he was dead. In reality, Elliot Stabler was alive, but he was no longer Elliot Stabler. He was Chris Miller of Denver, Colorado. She had been in his hospital room helping him into a wheelchair after he signed his discharge papers when officials from the Witness Protection program took him away from her. It was devastating. She wanted him safe but her heart shattered knowing that meant they had to be away from each other and she had to fake his death to everyone else. He took her in his arms one last time and kissed her, telling her he loved her and that this wasn't goodbye. She sobbed for hours, harder than she ever had before because she knew there was a possibility she'd never see him again. It sure felt like that now. The last sign of life from the man who was her other half was this box that was shipped to her. In it, along with the semper fi medal and picture was a note with his WITSEC identity so she knew he was somewhere safe. Still, her heart had shattered that day and had never healed completely so he might as well have died.</p><p>"Is he in heaven? Like Ellie?" She realizes her son had picked up on the sad look in her eyes and that there were a couple tears that had rolled down her cheeks.</p><p>"No he uh...he just had to go away for a while that's all."</p><p>"Do you miss him?"</p><p>"I do."</p><p>"Will I get to meet him someday?" <em>Probably not.</em> She thought sadly.</p><p>"I don't know sweet boy but I think he'd be very excited to meet you if he could." He had always told her how much she deserved to be a mother and that he'd support her. She knew he'd be proud of her and Noah. She had to hold onto that.</p><p>"What was his name?"</p><p>"Elliot."</p><p>"That sounds like Ellie. Did they know each other?" She allows herself to smile at her son's bubbly curiosity.</p><p>"No. Elliot's been gone a long time, since before you were born." Noah snuggles on his mother's lap and the pair is silent for a couple minutes before he speaks again.</p><p>"Will, I ever have a dad?" It wasn't a question she was expecting and it caught her off guard.</p><p>"I don't know honey. But I think we make a pretty good team don't you?"</p><p>"Yeah, we do. Mom?"</p><p>"Yes, son?"</p><p>"Do we have ice cream?" This makes her laugh and picks her up from the sorrowful mood.</p><p>"You know what I bet we do! I'll go look!" They get off the couch and there's a knock on the door as she opens the fridge. "Did you invite someone over?" She teased but he had already gone in the direction of the door and opened it.</p><p>"Noah! How many times have I told you to never open the door by yourself unless you know who it is-" She stops in her tracks when she hears a voice that makes her heart flutter talking to her son.</p><p>"You're Mr. Elliot!"</p><p>"Yes, I am! Who are you?" He replies in the playful tone he always had with kids. She couldn't believe it and she nearly sobbed out of happiness, but stayed in the kitchen, wondering if it was too good to be true.</p><p>"I'm Noah. My mommy really misses you. She said you guys were friends."</p><p>"Yeah, we were. I miss her too. Nice to meet you, Noah. Are your parents home?</p><p>"It's just my mom and me. I don't have a daddy but my mommy's pretty good at both."</p><p>"I bet she is."</p><p>"We were gonna have ice cream, do you want some Mr. Elliot."</p><p>"That sounds delicious. But I'm sure your mommy has told you not to let a stranger in the house so you should ask her first."</p><p>"But you're not a stranger you're mommy's friend! She said you had to go away for a while and she was looking at a picture of you and she was really really sad because she missed you so much. She was crying, Mr. Elliot. You've gotta make her feel better! Please. I don't like it when mommy's sad."</p><p>"I don't either son. Why don't you go find her for me ok? I'd love to see her and cheer her up.</p><p>"Ok." He runs back towards the kitchen and Olivia is leaning against the fridge. Smiling bigger than she had in years with tears running down her face.</p><p>"MOMMY MOMMY MR. ELLIOT'S HERE! But he said I have to ask you before I let him in. He says he misses you too and seems really nice and he said he wants to have ice cream with us." She half sobs and half laughs and kneels down to her son's level.</p><p>"Well, you tell him that...I bought his favorite." It was almost too good to be true. Elliot's favorite ice cream flavor was raspberry, and every year on this day she bought some and ate it as a way to celebrate the years they had together. It warmed her heart that it had become Noah's favorite flavor too. She could hear her son and beloved ex-partner's voices again in the other room.</p><p>"Mommy said you can come in and that she bought your favorite ice cream."</p><p>"Did she? Well, I think I <em>have </em>to come in then. I can't say no to that."</p><p>"That's not true, mommy tells me that anyone can say no to anything and that we have to respect that because no is a very important word. Forcing someone to do something they might not want to do is inpriate." She laughs at her Noah's mispronunciation of 'inappropriate' but is proud of him for remembering. Elliot takes it in stride.</p><p>"Your mommy's taught you very well and you're so smart but this <em>is </em>something I want to do. I don't want to say no so you don't have to worry about that ok."</p><p>"Ok." She hears footsteps in the kitchen and doesn't realize she's still standing with the fridge wide open until a familiar calloused hand takes hold of the door and a voice says,</p><p>"I hear that someone discovered there's such a thing as grocery stores and there's ice cream in the house." She laughs through her tears and closes the fridge door, the final barrier between her and the man who held the missing piece of her heart for the first time in nearly a decade.</p><p>"It was on sale. Buy one carton get two free." She choked out.</p><p>"What happened to my 'there's this thing called delivery' Liv?" His smile makes her feel like she could melt and the tears are blurring her vision.</p><p>"Oh, there's a...leftover Chinese too." She's smiling so big it feels like her face could burst and he's so close she can feel his breath and it's the most soothing feeling in years. His chuckle is warm and loving. "El?"</p><p>"Yes, my Livvie love?" She laughs again and it's cheesy but it's <em>him </em>and god she's missed him more than she had even realized.</p><p>"Are you real?" He takes his arm off the fridge and outstretches them towards her.</p><p>"I'm real baby. I'm home." She sobs out of happiness, out of relief and longing.</p><p>"My-my legs feel like jelly. I don't think I can move so you'll have to-" The next thing she knows she's pulled into a strong, warm, loving embrace that makes her feel whole and she clings to him tightly.</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"Well about 12 hours and 57 years ago my mom woke my dad up and told him her water broke-" she laughs again and snuggles deeper into his chest, breathing in his scent and feeling his heartbeat. He was home. Her Elliot was really home.</p><p>"If this is a dream I don't ever want to wake up."</p><p>"It's not sweetheart. I missed you so much. Feds came and got me Wednesday and said they caught the guy responsible for the bomb and shot him. They said it was safe for me to come home."</p><p>"Do the kids know?"</p><p>"Saw the 4 oldest ones yesterday but haven't seen Eli yet. Kathy remarried and moved to Virginia. Eli's with her." She lifts her head to look at him, really looks at him for the first time in 8 years. She doesn't leave his arms though. She never wants to be out of his arms again.</p><p>"I missed you so much." She puts a hand on his cheek to remind herself that he's real. He's here. "God Elliot I missed you." His hair was graying and he had a bit of a goatee. He was thinner but still muscular. He was older, but he was Elliot. Her partner, her best friend, her other half.</p><p>"I missed you too baby. Every single day. I never stopped thinking about you."</p><p>"Now you're gonna make me cry in the ice cream." She teased as more tears rolled down her cheeks and he leaned in and kissed them away.</p><p>"I love you, Olivia, I did then, I still do and I always will."</p><p>"I love you too." Before she can say anything else he leans in and kisses her and it's slow and gentle and loving and passionate and deep and Elliot and she thinks she could melt and she wouldn't even care because his strong arms were around her and he would catch her if she fell. They almost forget Noah is in the room until,</p><p>"Mommy, can we have ice cream yet pleeeease?" Elliot chuckles and Olivia laughs through her tears.</p><p>"Well, I think this calls for a celebration and we should definitely have some." She makes no move out of Elliot's arms, however.</p><p>"Is this your way of telling <em>me</em> to get the ice cream?" Elliot teased.</p><p>"I'm not ready to let you go yet." He smiles and presses a lingering kiss to her forehead.</p><p>"Me neither. I'll tell you what let's get the kid some ice cream and some for ourselves and we can snuggle on your couch."</p><p>"That sounds perfect."</p><p>So the trio spent the evening snuggled up on the couch watching cartoons and eating Elliot (and Noah's) favorite ice cream. It was the closest thing to being part of a family Olivia had ever felt. Her son sat in between her and Elliot on her lap and Elliot's arm was wrapped around her shoulders as she cuddled into his side.</p><p>He stayed on the couch while she tucked Noah in and when she went back into the living room she just stared at him for a moment. He was here. He was really here. He smiled and held his arm out for her, inviting her to sit back on the couch with him and she happily obliged and snuggled into his arms again.</p><p>"Noah's a good kid."</p><p>"He is. He's my world."</p><p>"I'm glad, you deserve it Liv. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy and safe you know that right? I may have been an ass to your dates and overprotective with you but-"</p><p>"I know El. I know."</p><p>"Speaking of your dates." She rolls her eyes at his comment. "Who's the jerk that left you to do this all by yourself?</p><p>"Noah's adopted. I found him on a case we were working."</p><p>"You two got anyone helping you? Taking care of you? You're doing an amazing job I just hate that you are alone in this."</p><p>"Well unless you're planning on going somewhere I guess I'm not anymore." She smiled at him warmly.</p><p>"Well, I was hoping you wouldn't kick me out." He smirked.</p><p>"Wouldn't dream of it." They talked for a while longer until she yawned.</p><p>"I should let you get some sleep."</p><p>"Will you come to bed with me."</p><p>"I would love to but you have a kid in the house-" She laughs.</p><p>"Not that I just...I've missed you and I wanna be close to you tonight."</p><p>"Ok, but just to warn you, Kathy always said I snore." She laughs again and heads to make sure the door is locked.</p><p>"Oh I remember, I was never able to sleep in the cribs if you were there." He chuckles. "But I won't mind it tonight."</p><p>Elliot's smile drops when he notices the way she relocks the door 3 times just to be sure, a habit she no doubt picked up after her abduction 5 years ago.</p><p>"I'm sorry I know I'm being paranoid it's just...especially now that I have Noah-"</p><p>"It's alright honey. Come here." He pulls her into his arms, holding her in a protective embrace. "You've got me now too. I won't let anyone hurt you. Either of you."</p><p>"I know you won't. Did you uh, see the news coverage?" He nods grimly.</p><p>"I was so scared and they wouldn't let me even call the Captain to see how close they were to finding you or anything. Did he-" He swallows hard.</p><p>"No, he didn't" She replied quickly knowing he had likely been thinking the worst for the past 5 years.</p><p>"Thank god."</p><p>"I'll tell you sometime, I will I just-"</p><p>"It's alright. Let's go to bed baby. You look exhausted."</p><p>"I'm getting old El, I'm not the skinny, young, tough brunette you used to know."</p><p>"Hey hey hey. You're beautiful." She scoffed.</p><p>"I'm serious. You're not fat, your <em>curvy</em>. You barely have any wrinkles and even if you did you'd still be gorgeous. And you're the toughest person I know. You're as perfect to me as you were the day I met you."</p><p>"You take romance classes in Colorado Stabler?" She teased tearfully.</p><p>"I spent every moment I had to myself thinking about the woman I loved back home. If she had found happiness if she was taking care of herself, all that stuff. You never really left my mind Liv. In fact, my first protective detail quit and traded with another team because they got sick of me talking about you." She giggled...<em>Olivia Benson</em> giggled like a teenager.</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>"110% sure I love you more."</p><p>"Yeah. well, I'm 1,010% sure I love <em>you </em>more so...guess I win." She smirked and he laughed before kissing her.</p><p>"I'm so glad you're home."</p><p>"I wish I had been home sooner."</p><p>"You're here now, and I'm never letting you go." She kissed him and they walk back to the bedroom in each other's arms and after 8 years their hearts are whole again.</p><p>She was his home and it had been a long journey for both of them but now they were reunited.</p><p>In each other's arms was where they belonged.</p><p>They were home at last.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Stability</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: So after the episode 'Caretaker' and the scene with Liv and Amanda and the flowers where Olivia said "sometimes we all need a little pretty" about why Amanda should keep the flowers I got two EO one-shot ideas, this is one of them and the other one is being written by Lightupthesky (Alicia) so check that one out too :). Also so far the last few chapters of this little one-shot series have been post season 12 EO if you have any ideas from past Bensler episodes feel free to share!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Wow." Olivia returned to the squadroom after a heartbreaking conversation with their ADA about their current case to see a very large bouquet of flowers on Amanda's desk. Amanda hung up the phone and rolled her eyes.</p><p>"They're from Al. I told him not to send them to the office but...<em>men</em> right?" Olivia laughed.</p><p>"You meeting him for dinner?"</p><p>"I don't know I-I feel like I need to do something here this case-it's." She swallows a lump in her throat and Olivia nods, she knows the feeling.</p><p>"Yeah." They walk into her office and are both fighting back tears.</p><p>"Last night I went home...tucked Noah in and just...watched him sleep. For 2 hours." Her voice was quiet, shaky and tear-filled.</p><p>"I did the same thing."</p><p>"Sometimes life just sucks." Olivia said and the statement causes a long lost face to pop into her mind and she sobs for a different reason. "It really freaking sucks. I mean one day you're standing side by side and the next you kiss him goodbye thinking you'll see him next week and then the news tells you his plane went down and they couldn't find his body and your whole world just...shatters." Amanda pulls back from the hug her Lieutenant had pulled her in, realizing she was no longer talking about the case.</p><p>"Liv?"</p><p>"He'd understand you know? He had 5 kids, these cases were always hard on him and I never really understood why until I had Noah. I really wish he was here right now."</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"I should've told him not to go that the weather was too dangerous that-"</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Elliot." His name stabs at the hole in her heart.</p><p>"Wasn't that your old partner?"</p><p>"Yeah." She choked out.</p><p>"Were you guys-"</p><p>"He and his wife had gotten a divorce and the night of his retirement party he kissed me and told me he loved me. Told me he had to leave the job but he didn't want to leave me. We-what we had was so special. I loved him...more than anything in the world. He was my partner, my family, my protector, my rock my-" She sobbed again, missing him had never gotten easier.</p><p>"What happened to him?"</p><p>"A good friend of his from the marines died and the funeral was in London. Elliot decided to go to the funeral but the weather was really bad. I was worried but...deep down I thought he'd be fine you know? His plane crashed in the ocean on the way home and they didn't-they never found his body. The plane was completely destroyed and there were so many fatalities so we all just had to accept that we'd never see him again but I miss him. God, I miss him so damn much." She sobbed. "How could Ann-I would be devastated if something happened to Noah and I would give anything to have Elliot back. Anything. She just killed her entire family without a second thought. I would be lost if I didn't have Noah and for so long I felt lost without Elliot. I still feel lost without him sometimes."</p><p>"Maybe there's still hope if they never actually found him?"</p><p>"I tried to hold onto that as long as I could but after 8 years? The department had a memorial service for him but I couldn't go. It was too hard, still is." They're silent for a minute before Olivia turns to the young detective.</p><p>"Amanda you should keep those flowers."</p><p>"Why?" More tears flow from Amanda's eyes, heartbroken for her Lieutenant and friend.</p><p>"Because sometimes we just need a little pretty." They walk back into the squad room getting ready to leave for the night when they see a delivery man walk in with another bouquet of flowers.</p><p>"Delivery for Olivia Benson?"</p><p>"That's me." She was shocked, both at the fact that someone had sent her flowers and that they happened to be her favorites, pink roses.</p><p>"Secret admirer Liv?" Amanda asked and Olivia rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Not likely. They are sweet though."</p><p>"Stone? Barba? Langan? Haden? Ellis?" She laughed.</p><p>"I don't date lawyers."</p><p>"Since when?"</p><p>"Amanda!"</p><p>"Ok ok. Look at the note and see."</p><p>"It's probably just a thank you or something."</p><p>"I don't know. I think it's somebody sweet on you."</p><p>"I'm 54 years old, that train left the station a long time ago."</p><p>"Oh come on. Cassidy? Tucker?"</p><p>"No and no."</p><p>"Dodds?"</p><p>"Don't make me puke." She teased.</p><p>"Carisi?"</p><p>"I don't think that's legal."</p><p>"Fin?"</p><p>"He once told me and I quote that 'the only relationship he ever cares to have is with his couch and the television."</p><p>"Voight?"</p><p>"One-time coffee date and the only thing we had in common was that we've both seen more blood than we'd care to see in our lifetimes."</p><p>"Munch?"</p><p>"Old enough to be my dad."</p><p>"That FBI guy you dated one time?"</p><p>"Hell no."</p><p>"That guy from the Ledger?"</p><p>"I haven't thought about him in years."</p><p>"Well, whoever it was knows and cares about you enough to send your favorites. It's gotta be someone you've worked closely with or a perp that's stalking you."</p><p>"Richard White died in prison 5 years ago so this is definitely not a 'no hard feelings' bouquet."</p><p>"Nick?"</p><p>"I think if Nick was going to send flowers it would be to <em>you.</em>"</p><p>"I'm running out of options. The only other person I could think of that would know you that well...it would have to be-"</p><p>"Oh my god!" Amanda's cut off when Olivia opens the note and gasps with a sob of disbelief. She falls into the chair and puts a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god." Amanda reads the note, both women are stunned.</p><p>
  <em>For my Liv-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will be home soon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With all my love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your El</em>
</p><p>"El? Is that?" Olivia nods, tears pouring from her eyes like a waterfall.</p><p>"It's him. I'd know his handwriting anywhere. He's alive." She pulls Amanda into another hug, overcome with emotion. "He's alive!" She sobs out of happiness and runs out the door of the squad room. "Where is he, Amanda? Where is he?"</p><p>"Maybe he had someone else send them for him?"</p><p>"No, no it's him. I know it is. Why isn't he here? He said he'd be home soon. Where is he!" She falls to her knees in tears.</p><p>"Why don't you turn around baby?" It's almost too good to be true and she's scared to look because she knows what's left of her heart will shatter if his voice and the flowers and the note are all just in her head. But it's his voice. It's the voice that had laughed with her, cried with her, fought with her, gotten justice with her, interrogated perps with her, the voice that loved her and told her good morning and saved the streets with her and and and. It was <em>him. </em>It was her Elliot and she couldn't stand up because her knees felt like jello and tears were blurring her vision and she was pretty sure her heart stopped beating momentarily as its other half that had been gone for 8 years was locked back into place.</p><p>"I made it to the right place didn't I?" She heard his voice talking to Amanda as his footsteps approached her and she heard Amanda respond "Yeah you did" tearfully as she stepped aside to let Elliot move closer to Olivia.</p><p>"I'm a little old for this baby, I probably couldn't get up if I sat on that floor." He teased and she laughed through her tears. "But I really really wanna hold you." That did it. She threw her arms around him clinging tightly, never wanting to let go again.</p><p>"How-I-they told me you were dead El." She sobbed into his chest as he helped her stand up while still holding her in his arms tightly. "The plane and then the funeral and-"</p><p>"I'm here honey. I'm here, look. I'm here." But she wonders if she lifts her face from his chest where she's listening intently to his heartbeat he will suddenly disappear from her.</p><p>"Elliot how-"</p><p>"Look at me, sweetheart." He tilts her chin gently and she allows herself to look into those blue eyes she's longed to see again for nearly a decade. He looks worn and older. He was thinner and had lost some muscle. His hair is almost completely gone from his head and he has a salt and pepper beard. He looks like he's been through a lot but he's real. He's Elliot and as she looks at him again she realizes she had missed him even more than she knew.</p><p>"Oh, El!" She cried and buried her face in his neck and breathed in his scent. "Elliot. Elliot Elliot." She repeated his name over and over to remind herself she wasn't dreaming.</p><p>"I missed you so much, Olivia." Too overwhelmed to respond she pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back lovingly and stroked her cheek with his thumb. She didn't want to stop kissing him and she never wanted to leave his arms again. His beard tickled her chin as they kissed but she didn't care. He was alive. That's all that mattered. They broke the kiss but he leaned his forehead against hers and their tears mixed together, their lips brushing as she spoke.</p><p>"What happened to you El? How are you here?" Her heart warmed as he kissed a couple stray tears making there way down her cheeks. "El?"</p><p>"It's-it's a really long story." Her heart aches for him because she realizes whatever happened is really hard for him to talk about. The look on his face almost reminds her of the look she often had after the Lewis ordeal. She nods in understanding and kisses him again. They had pretty much forgotten Amanda was there and she, not wanting to interrupt the emotional reunion went back to the squad room to get her things and leave for the night.</p><p>"I love you." She tells him and sees tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "Oh baby, it's ok now. You're home."</p><p>"I know, I just missed you, sweetheart. I love you too." There's something else going on with him and she doesn't know what but she won't push it. he looks at her and studies her much like she had earlier. She knows he can tell she's had a rough day, that she had been crying even before she got the flowers. They had always been able to read each other so well. "Hard day?" Her mind goes back to the case and the lump returns to her throat. "Talk to me Liv."</p><p>"Oh god, El. You don't know how much I needed you right now this-this case I just-" She breaks down in his arms, unable to get the heartbreaking crime scene out of her mind.</p><p>"Shhh, it's alright honey. You can let it out. I'm here now. I'm here."</p><p>"I missed you so much El."</p><p>"I never stopped thinking about you Liv. It was the only way I survived." There it was again, that hint that had her wondering what exactly happened to him after the plane crash.</p><p>"El-"</p><p>"Let's go home? Please?"</p><p>"My place?" She smiled warmly at him and he nods.</p><p>"We should get you something to eat too. You could use some meat on those bones."</p><p>"You buying?" He teased.</p><p>"I'll have you know I can cook now."</p><p>"You?" He mocked disbelief and she smacked his chest lightly. He flinched slightly and she was concerned but didn't mention it.</p><p>"I guess I'll just have to prove it. Come on, let's go. I'll cook you some dinner and you can meet Noah."</p><p>"Noah?"</p><p>"I have a son El."</p><p>"Your husband won't think I'm intruding?" She laughed.</p><p>"The only man there's room in my heart for is <em>you</em>. Noah's adopted."</p><p>"I'm so proud of you baby." He kisses her forehead and she's happy to see his mood lift. "You're an amazing mother I just know it."</p><p>"Thanks, El." A thought comes to her. "Speaking of kids, have you seen yours yet?"</p><p>"I tried looking them up but I guess they all moved after...you know I just-I needed solid ground to stand on tonight. I knew you'd be here. I knew I could come home to you. I'll sort things out with them I will but I knew it was you I needed tonight." She understood completely because it's exactly how she has felt. They had always given each other stability and after this tough case, heck after these tough 8 years she needed the one man she could always count on. He felt the same way about her.</p><p>"Ok." They wrapped their an arm around each other's waists as they walked in sync, both thankful to feel connected to one another again.</p><p>
  <strong>"Did you like the flowers?"</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>"I </strong>
  <strong>
    <em>loved</em>
  </strong>
  <strong> them. You remembered."</strong>
</p><p>"I love you." He replied as a way of explanation for remembering as they stood in the elevator holding each other.</p><p>"I love you too." He nuzzled her nose and pulled her into a sweet and long kiss. They held each other again as they walked out to the car, neither of them wanting to ever let go again.</p><p>There were still many questions, many struggles to come but tonight all that mattered was them and knowing that their love would get them through.</p><p>They were and would always be each other's something pretty</p><p>Each other's stability.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Not sure what I think of this one, just had the idea the other night. Thanks for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/n: What should have happened in "Her Negotiation", season 14</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I need a shower," Olivia commented in disgust to Nick after they left the interrogation room. She thought she'd seen and heard it all in her 14 years on the job but this perp was one of the sickest and sadistic ones they'd ever dealt with. William Lewis, they now had his name, had been picked up for public lewdness in Central Park and had attempted to burn his fingers so the detectives couldn't take his DNA. They got him though with the help of a photographer that had been at the park that day, Alice Parker. Reluctantly they had to let him go because those charges didn't stick. A couple days later Alice Parker was brutally tortured in her apartment and it was pretty obvious Lewis was responsible. Olivia and Nick had attempted to get a confession out of him when Alice died of a heart attack the next day. He had confessed to every gruesome, disgusting detail that made the 14 year-veteran SVU detective want to vomit. Nick was more concerned with the way Lewis seemed to take interest in Olivia and threatened her but Olivia had brushed it off and said he was just another perp and she could take care of herself. She wouldn't admit she was unsettled. She refused to give William Lewis that satisfaction. Nick said nothing else but pulled out his phone to send a text to a detective in the computer crimes division.</p><p><em>You and Liv got plans tonight?</em> His phone buzzed with a response almost instantly.</p><p>
  <em>I was gonna take her out to dinner depending on when we both got done with work. Is she ok?</em>
</p><p><em>She is. But I'm a bit worried. </em>He put his phone down mid-sentence when Olivia walked back into the squad room and eyed him curiously. His phone buzzed and he realized he must have accidentally hit send and sent the other man into a panic due to the 'I'm a bit worried' part of the text.</p><p><em>On my way over.</em> He sighed and Olivia turned to him.</p><p>"You ok Nick?" <em>You mean except for the fact that I was trying to be discreet about asking your boyfriend/ overprotective former partner to check on you but I failed at the discreet part and now he's on his way to the precinct because I told him I was worried...yeah I'm just fine.</em></p><p>"Yeah, totally." The elevator doors open, and a worried/frazzled looking Elliot Stabler walks into the squad room. Nick tries to act neutral.</p><p>"El."</p><p>"Hey, sweetheart." He pulls her into his arms and kisses her. She snuggles into his embrace, savoring the warm feeling and trying to block out the filth she felt from the interrogation. "You ok?"</p><p>"Why wouldn't I be?" She smoothed his tie and rested her hand on his chest, then gave him another peck on the lips. He looked her over as if checking for injuries.</p><p>"Nick texted. Said he was worried." He put a hand on her forehead to check her temperature and she rolled her eyes. He ran a hand through her hair gently smoothing her waves. She turned and glared at Nick who was pretending to be busy on the computer.</p><p>"Really Amaro?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I told you I was fine and you texted Elliot?"</p><p>"I wasn't trying to be so obvious. And there's no way you can be fine after-"</p><p>"I've been doing interrogations for 14 years. It was nothing. Please stop being overprotective."</p><p>"What did he say?" Elliot's voice was laced with concern and anger. "What did that creep say to you?"</p><p>"Nothing El, it's not that big of a deal."</p><p>"Not that big of a deal? He was describing the way he tortured Alice Parker and you told him you oughta kick his teeth in after what he did to her and he said-" Olivia cuts Nick off.</p><p>"There's no reason Elliot needs to know what he said Nick it was nothing I can't handle. I love you guys but I can't deal with two overprotective partners today ok just...relax."</p><p>"Normally I would if he hadn't told you you would be lucky if someone does that to you. That sounded like a threat to me." Elliot looked like he wanted to strangle the living crap out of William Lewis and also scoop Olivia in his arms and shelter her somewhere.</p><p>"He said WHAT? Tell me you didn't let that scumbag walk out of here! Where the hell is he!? " Olivia puts a hand on his arm to stop him.</p><p>"Elliot...babe I'm fine. I promise. He didn't touch me he just-"</p><p>"He still threatened you."</p><p>"I've been threatened before."</p><p>"Not like this Liv, this guy...this guy's different," Nick speaks up in agreement with Elliot and Olivia wants to roll her eyes at the way they together sound like a couple of hovering, protective mother hens.</p><p>"Liv come to mine. Stay with me tonight." Elliot pleaded with her.</p><p>"For what? Elliot, I'm fine. You're both worrying too much. Nick was overreacting."</p><p>"Liv-" Nick starts and Elliot cuts him off firmly.</p><p>"Liv you're coming to mine and that's final."</p><p>"Elliot I can protect myself. I've worked in this unit almost as long as you did." His voice when he responds is stern and protective but loving and reminds her of when she's heard him put his foot down to his kids because they were doing something that wasn't safe.</p><p>"Olivia Benson you are coming to my place even if I have to drag you myself!"</p><p>"Elliot." She tries but knows neither of them is budging, both her partners are just as stubborn as she is. That must be why Cragen paired her with them. She sighs. "Fine. But only because I'm too tired to argue anymore, and you're kinda sexy when you get all riled up and protective." He smirks.</p><p>"Whatever it takes.".</p><p>"I didn't need to hear that. You know she's like a sister to me. I'll see you tomorrow, don't let her out of your sight El." Nick responded.</p><p>"I don't plan to." They smirk, knowing they're driving Olivia insane.</p><p>"Oh good grief Nick." She throws a paperclip at him and he catches it, using it for some paperwork he's filing.</p><p>"Thanks!" She just shakes her head but smiles. As annoying as they can be, she's thankful she has people in her life willing to protect her like that. The fact that her work partner and life partner have become allies to keep her safe, taken care of and happy warms her heart. She knows she wouldn't have it any other way. She leans into Elliot as she wraps his arm around her waist holding her close to him as they leave the squad room.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>Beep Beep Beep Beep. She groaned when her alarm clock went off the final morning of Lewis's trial for Alice Parker's murder and snuggled into Elliot's chest. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her tighter.</p><p>"Why don't we call in sick and stay here today." He suggested, she had been staying at his place the last few days and he was still worried about her not being with him since Lewis was still out there.</p><p>"El. Babe, I have to go. Not that I wouldn't much rather stay like this all day, but I have to get this guy."</p><p>"I just…"</p><p>"You're worried, I know." She kisses him gently and moves over him slightly, cupping his face and looking into his eyes. "I'll be fine El." She kisses him again and rests her forehead against his. "Besides, Nick is just as overprotective as you are."</p><p>"And for that I'm thankful. The one thing I hate about leaving the job is that I can't have your back anymore."</p><p>"You still have my back Elliot, just in a different way now." She moves to give him one last quick kiss but he deepens it and tightens his arms around her.</p><p>"It's hard to let you go, especially with this case Liv I-"</p><p>"I'll be <em>fine</em> El." She repeated.</p><p>"Sweetie I just-you're great at your job don't get me wrong. You're amazing. But I shared the job with you back then. Now I have to share <em>you </em>and I'm feeling selfish. The city needs you. But <em>I </em>need you home safe when you're done saving the city and the cape comes off ok?" She laughed at his last sentence and smiled at him.</p><p>"You make me sound like Wonder Woman. Regular girlfriend by night, superhero by day. Guess all I need is a cape."</p><p>"You're <em>my </em>Wonder Woman. Always have been and always will be. And there's nothing regular about you-"</p><p>"Gee thanks El." She smacked his chest lightly.</p><p>"What I mean is you're special to me Liv you-you don't know how much you mean to me. You and my kids Olivia are my greatest and most precious gifts. I'd be lost without you."</p><p>"Ditto." She peppered his face with tiny kisses before giving him a loving kiss on the lips. "I'll call you when we're done for the day I promise. I won't leave the precinct without you knowing." He sighs and reluctantly lets her go and follows her into the kitchen.</p><p>"Ok. I love you, baby. Be safe. You'll get him."</p><p>"I love you too Stabler. Go catch some hackers." He chuckled.</p><p>"It's not as nice as strangling perverts but it pays the bills." She laughs. He pours her a cup of coffee and hands it to her on her way out the door.</p><p>"I'm sorry we can't get breakfast today honey. Promise me you'll eat something before court?"</p><p>"Nick's picking me up, do you honestly think I'm getting out of that? It's crazy how alike you two are sometimes."</p><p>"The guy deserves a medal, you can be a handful you know that?" She laughs and rolls her eyes. "Love you."</p><p>"I love you too, stop stalling me." She teases.</p><p>"I know, I know." He hands her her jacket and untucks her hair from her shirt, brushing his hand through it and then gives her one last kiss. "Go nail the bastard."</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>She was furious. The judge had declared a freaking mistrial!? He was getting away with his crimes again. She wanted to scream. There had to be some way to get this guy. What on earth was wrong with that judge? How could she just let him go?</p><p>She stayed at the precinct for a bit trying to find something they could use to keep William Lewis in jail. Then, her captain told her to go home for a couple days to get her head together because the outcome of this case was not what any of them wanted, and she especially was struggling. She sent a text to Elliot on her way out.</p><p><em>Judge declared mistrial. Cap sending me home. I can't believe any of this. </em>Her phone buzzed.</p><p><em>I'm sorry baby. I'm just about done here. Your place or mine? I'll get some Chinese and run you a bath. </em>She smiled despite the situation. She could always count on him.</p><p>
  <em>My place. I need wine. I'll take a cab.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No way. Wait for me or have Nick drive you. You don't need to be alone right now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El I just need a few minutes to myself. You can come over when you finish up.</em>
</p><p><em>I just told my Captain I'm leaving, heading your way. You might as well wait. Xoxo. </em>She rolled her eyes, he seemed to get more stubborn with age.</p><p>
  <em>I'm already outside waiting for a cab, I'll see you in a bit. Love you.</em>
</p><p><em>I figured that's why I texted Nick and he's on his way out. Love you more. </em>She can see his smirk in her head and she shakes her head. Of course, he did.</p><p>"Liv!"</p><p>"I know I know, Elliot told on me didn't he? "</p><p>"Hey I'm your partner, you're not supposed to run off without backup."</p><p>"You two are impossible."</p><p>"Yeah but you love us." He teased.</p><p>"Usually." She teased back.</p><p>"There's your knight in shining armor, or now that he's in computer crimes...your geek wrapped in tin foil?"</p><p>"Ha ha very funny Nick. Is this high school?"</p><p>"You don't have enough hair for this to be high school El." Olivia teased.</p><p>"Mean!" The three of them laughed and it felt good after the events of the day. "You know the gray hair comes from worrying about you and my kids. You've worn me out."</p><p>"But you love me." She kissed him and he wrapped his arms around her.</p><p>"So very much."</p><p>"You guys are the sappiest couple I've ever seen." Nick shook his head.</p><p>"Says the guy who gave Amanda a box of chocolates and left a different bouquet of roses on her desk each day for a week during Valentine's Day. You're lucky Cragen decided not to tell Tucker." She raised her eyebrow at him.</p><p>"Ok ok, I get it. Get the girl home Stabler, take care of her."</p><p>"Always."</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>They stopped at their favorite Chinese place to get some takeout and drove back to Olivia's apartment in comfortable silence. Elliot had one hand on the steering wheel and the other held one of Olivia's on the console.</p><p>They made their way to into the apartment building and down the hall when Elliot stopped suddenly outside Olivia's door, moving completely in front of her so he was shielding her from view.</p><p>"Babe, what's wrong?"</p><p>"Did you leave the door unlocked?"</p><p>"No, of course not."</p><p>"Does anyone else have a key? Is there any reason that-" she moves around to Elliot's side and sees it. While there's no sign of forced entry her door looks like someone opened it but didn't close it all the way. A chill goes down her spine.</p><p>"Just you and Nick." Elliot swallows hard and steps forward with his hand on the knob.</p><p>"Stay back. I'm gonna check ok?" She follows close behind him and the sight is horrifying. There are keys being heated in a pot on the stove. A roll of duct tape sits on the counter along with vodka and various drugs meant to knock someone out. There are rope ties in a chair in the middle of the living room. Her apartment had been turned into a torture chamber. She gripped Elliot's hand.</p><p>"We should call CSU." Before they can do anything they hear the floor creak and Olivia's heart is pounding. Elliot takes a protective stance in front of her. Suddenly they hear a chilling voice.</p><p>"Welcome home detectives."</p><p>"What do you want?" Elliot growled at Lewis, who had a gun pointed at them.</p><p>"Well I wanted to spend some time with your partner here but you kinda ruined my plans." Olivia's heart leaped in her throat when she saw Lewis point the gun straight at Elliot, remove the safety and put his finger on the trigger. She put herself between them, shielding Elliot as he had done her.</p><p>"Lewis...you don't need to do that ok Elliot had no part in this. I'm the one you're mad at."</p><p>"Mad at you? I'm not mad sweetheart, attracted is more like it." She felt bile rise in her throat and could feel Elliot's rage behind her.</p><p>"Why don't we let Elliot leave and you and I can talk?"</p><p>"Olivia there is no way in hell I'm leaving you alone with this psycho," Elliot spoke strongly. Olivia shudders at the sickening smile Lewis gets on his face and leans closer to Elliot.</p><p>"On second thought, why don't we give him a show, he can watch." He reaches his hand to touch Olivia's wrist and Elliot has him almost immediately in a chokehold.</p><p>"You're not touching her. You got that?" He kicks Lewis in the stomach causing him to drop the gun. Olivia grabs it and uses that moment to pull out her handcuffs and put them on Lewis's wrists while Elliot has him restrained. Her hands are shaking but she manages to keep her voice strong as she calls her squad for backup.</p><p>"William Lewis you are under arrest for breaking and entering. Guess you should've thought that through."</p><p>"You think this is over? Go check your bedroom, I left you a present. We'll spend time together soon sweetheart." She thought she was gonna be sick. Nick, Fin, and Rollins rushed into the apartment. Fin and Rollins took Lewis out while Nick walked over to Liv as CSU also arrived.</p><p>"You guys ok?"</p><p>"We're fine," Elliot assures him and looks over at Liv who's staring straight ahead. Her mind is bombarded with images of Lewis's MO. Things he did to his victims. Things he could've done to <em>her. </em>She jumps at Elliot's gentle touch and turns around, breathing a sigh of relief that it's him and lets him pull her into his protective arms. She buries her face in his chest and shudders in his arms.</p><p>"It's alright honey. It's alright now." He spoke softly and soothingly in her ear and stroked her hair. "We're ok. We're safe."</p><p>"Elliot...he…oh god…"</p><p>"I know. I know. It's ok now baby. It's ok. He's gone. It's just us. Just you and me." The bile rises in her throat and the fear of what almost happened shoots through her as she races out of Elliot's arms and to the bathroom. The scene in her bedroom. Her dresser drawers had been thrown open and lace panties had been placed on her bed with a note that in short said she could wear them 'the first night'. She couldn't look at anything else. She couldn't make it to the toilet fast enough and emptied the contents of her stomach in the trash can. Elliot helped her to the toilet and tried to soothe her as she tried to keep the sobs of fear and her own breathing at bay. He brushed her hair back and put it in a clip as she threw up in the toilet and then wet a washcloth to wipe her face and place on her forehead. Then he knelt on the floor and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her tightly.</p><p>"Shhhh deep breaths Liv. That's it, sweetie. Just breathe for a minute ok? I'm here. I'm right here." Focusing on his voice and his heartbeat helps her calm down after a couple minutes.</p><p>"He-he could come back. Elliot the things he did to those women...he was in my bedroom El...he.."</p><p>"He's not gonna hurt you, baby. I won't let him. I'll protect you. Always."</p><p>"I know you will."</p><p>"You know this means you're staying at my place indefinitely right? No arguments."</p><p>"I'm not gonna give you any. I'm ready for us to take that next step and move in together. Besides, we'll need more room soon and your place is bigger." She smiled, the fear from earlier disappearing.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I was gonna tell you tonight at dinner. I'm late El."</p><p>"You're late? You're...we're having a baby?" She nods and his responding grin melts away any nerves and darkness that had been in her heart that night.</p><p>"My baby's having my baby." She laughs and he kisses her, long and deep, pouring his love into the kiss. "I love you so so so so so much."</p><p>"And I love you." She kisses his nose. "Take me home El." He scooped her into his arms and carried her and she buried her face in his neck so she didn't have to look at her trashed apartment.</p><p>Nick told them goodbye and told Olivia he'd bring them breakfast in the morning.</p><p>Their overprotectiveness, though it got on her nerves most days, was the thing she knew she loved them the most for. She knew she could count on them always, both on the job and at home. They would look out for her no matter what and she couldn't ask for better partners. She had Nick, her best friend who was like a brother to her. And Elliot, who had been her rock, her companion, her constant, her protector for 15 years that she couldn't imagine her life without. She loved them both in different ways and wouldn't trade them for the world.</p><p>She had grown up with no love, no protection, and lonlieness. But now, she had more love than she thought she deserved and two men who would die to protect her. As she drifted off to sleep in Elliot's arms and let the rhythm of his heartbeat calm the storms in her mind she realized that despite the overprotectiveness, she didn't know what she'd do without them. Her protective partners.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: I mean...that's how the episode should've gone, right? :) Working on a Thanksgiving oneshot next. Until next time. Thanks for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. So Many Reasons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: A little domestic EO based off last weeks episode. After a hard case leaves Olivia wondering how anyone could love her, Elliot reminds her of just some of the reasons she does. As in most of the domestic one-shots I've written, Elliot and Olivia got together when he retired in season 12 so they've been an official couple for 8 years.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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      <p>She closes the door with a heavy sigh, closing her eyes and leaning against it. It had taken a lot to keep from breaking down today. Her insecurities surrounding her upbringing didn't affect her as bad as they used to but there were times it hit. Today it had hit with a force she hadn't felt in a few years.</p>
      <p>The sound of his voice surprised her but didn't startle her. He was her stability.</p>
      <p>"Rough day dear?" He was laying on the couch. The TV was on in the background but it was quiet. She knew he had waited up for her to make sure she was ok and it made her feel safe, grounded. He gave her a small smile and his blue eyes were soothing her mind already. If the circumstances were less serious she would have made a joke about how he had turned into a housewife. The apartment looked freshly cleaned and the kitchen smelled like he had cooked lasagna for dinner. Not to mention calling her 'dear'. But, she <em>had</em> had a rough day as much as she hated to admit it.</p>
      <p>"You didn't have to wait up for me." But it warmed her heart that she knew she could always count on him to look after her.</p>
      <p>"Amanda texted and said the case had...brought up some things."</p>
      <p>"I'm fine. I'm good I just-"</p>
      <p>"Your famous words." He teased lovingly and they exchanged small smiles. She took a few moments to just look at the beautiful man occupying the couch. He was older than when they were partners, but to her, he was just as sexy as he had been then. His stubble was turning into a goatee and what was left of his hair was grey. His muscles, though not as toned as they once were were still strong and sturdy. Even after 8 years, she still had to stop and remind herself that he was hers.</p>
      <p>"You checking me out Benson?" He smirked and she laughed. That technically <em>was</em> what she'd been a doing. She took her eyes off his broad chest and locked with his blue orbs again biting her lip.</p>
      <p>"Maybe."</p>
      <p>"Like what you see?"</p>
      <p>"You're not bad looking for an old man." She smirked.</p>
      <p>"Old?" He mocked hurt and she laughed. A laugh she desperately needed after today. She walked over to the couch so she could lean down and kiss him. He deepened the kiss and pulled her onto his lap. She melted into his embrace. She could taste ice cream and it warmed her heart that he'd put so much effort into spending time with a son that wasn't biologically theirs. She snuggled into his chest, inhaling the scent that surrounded her. It felt like home.</p>
      <p>"You and Noah had ice cream?"</p>
      <p>"Of course. It got him to do his homework." She smiled and kissed his chin.</p>
      <p>"You're a great dad El." He wrapped her tightly in his arms.</p>
      <p>"So if I can bribe our son with ice cream what can I bribe <em>you</em> with? Because I know something is bothering you that you're not telling me." She sighed against his neck. "Don't tell me you're fine. I've known you for 20 years. I know that's crap." She sniffled, he knew her too well. "Talk to me, baby."</p>
      <p>"When I was 15 years old, I overheard my mother on the phone and she said 'How I could ever love someone conceived by a monster'. Our Vic, Kitty she's...she's pregnant and uh….she said basically the same thing to me today about how there was no way she could-" Her voice cracked.</p>
      <p>"Oh, Liv."</p>
      <p>"She was right though wasn't she? I'm damaged goods, Elliot. I was a product of the worst thing that ever happened to her. How could she love me? How could anyone?" He gently wiped away her tear with his thumb.</p>
      <p>"I do. I love you very much." She sniffled.</p>
      <p>"Why? You could have any other woman in the world. Why me?" His smile warmed her heart as he leaned over her and kissed her tears.</p>
      <p>"So many reasons sweetheart. So many."</p>
      <p>"Tell me? Please?" He loved that she felt comfortable enough with him to show vulnerability and seek his reassurance, but it still broke his heart that she had those insecurities in the first place. He stood with her in his arms and carried her to their bed so it would be easier to hold her. He laid her down gently and kissed her forehead.</p>
      <p>"Well for starters...you're drop dead gorgeous inside and out." She rolled her eyes.</p>
      <p>"You need glasses, Stabler."</p>
      <p>"My eyes are perfect. You're beautiful Olivia. You're breathtaking. Don't ever doubt that."</p>
      <p>"If you say so."</p>
      <p>"I do." He was giving her the Stabler grin that she'd always loved so much. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You're an amazing mother, seeing you with Noah is-you're amazing Liv. You're a natural." He cuts her off with a sweet kiss. "You're the most dedicated cop in that unit, and they all know it, even Dodds and his band of assholes at 1PP." She laughs. "You're so selfless...you have so much love to give baby. So much. You've always loved my kids like they were you're own. You got Kathleen through a rough patch in her life, encouraged me to reconnect with my mother, oh and what's that thing you did with Eli? Oh yeah, saved his life and brought him into this world."</p>
      <p>"What kind of partner would I have been if I'd done nothing?"</p>
      <p>"Olivia look at me. You are special, you're beautiful, you're compassionate, you're devoted. You matter sweetheart, a whole hell of a lot no matter what anyone says."</p>
      <p>"El-"</p>
      <p>"Your mother didn't know how to love you like you deserved. That wasn't your fault and it's not hers either, she went through hell. But, you deserved better. You didn't do anything wrong. You deserved to be loved unconditionally. You <em>are</em> loved unconditionally. Immeasurably. By so many people and especially me." His words brought more tears to her eyes. How was she to respond to that?</p>
      <p>She snuggles into his embrace, absorbing the love and warmth he always gives her. He wraps his arms around her tighter.</p>
      <p>"I. Love. You." He makes sure to emphasize each word.</p>
      <p>"I love you too El."</p>
      <p>"I love you." He repeated and she giggles.</p>
      <p>"You said that."</p>
      <p>"I know because I love you."</p>
      <p>"El-"</p>
      <p>"I'm going to say it as many times as you need to hear it until I draw my last breath, Olivia." The truth was, she would never get tired of him saying those beautiful words.</p>
      <p>"I love you too Elliot Stabler. I love you too."</p>
      <p>"I love you so much more."</p>
      <p>"Not possible."</p>
      <p>"Yes, it is. I love you to the sun and back."</p>
      <p>"Sun, not the moon?" She teased.</p>
      <p>"The sun's farther. More distance means more love so I win, I love you more." They both share warm smiles and she kisses him softly.</p>
      <p>"Nah, your love is invalid unless it's infinity." She smirks.</p>
      <p>"Oh baby, it's more than infinity." He kisses her deeply and passionately and she hums into his kiss.</p>
      <p>"You always know what to say."</p>
      <p>"You know why?" She rolls her eyes lovingly but her heart is warm because yes, she does know.</p>
      <p>"Because you love me?</p>
      <p>"More than you'll ever know."</p>
      <p>"Even though-" <em>I was conceived by a monster. I'm damaged, you shouldn't love me and yet:</em></p>
      <p>"I'd love you even if you joined IAB sweetheart. You know how much I hate those guys but not you. Never you." She yawns and closes her eyes, letting the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat and his gentle voice lull her to sleep as she is cradled in his arms.</p>
      <p>The last thing she hears is him say: "Get some sleep honey, I love you."</p>
      <p>And she knew that his love was all she really needed. Because she too loved him for so many reasons.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Her Anchor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: I'm back to writing! A couple of oneshots coming your way and then I'll work on the multi-chaps. Since I did a 'Her Negotiation' one shot I thought I would also write a Psycho Therapist one shot and recreate the scene from Lewis's trial where Liv is in the stairwell afterward. EO of course because Elliot should have been there. In this version, Elliot never left. He retired and he and Liv became a couple and have been together for 3 years. They now live together because she moved in with him after the Lewis ordeal. He works private security and was called away on a job the week she was taken, but came home when he heard and helped find her.</p><p>Warning: This one-shot gets pretty dark and some parts may be triggering. Proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was alone. For the first time in weeks, she was completely alone in her and Elliot's apartment. Part of her liked it. She loved Elliot and the squad, but she had missed having time to herself. She had convinced Elliot to get some things at the store, and despite his worried/overprotective protests, he had gone, promising her that he would be back as fast as he could.</p><p>20 minutes. She felt ridiculous. She was a seasoned detective and yet she was nervous that Elliot wasn't home yet. What if something happened to him? What if Lewis got him or he got in a car wreck or had a heart attack or…</p><p>She heard keys in the door and her heart stopped. Keys...stove...Lewis…</p><p>She wasn't thinking straight and grabbed her gun, aiming it at the door with the safety off and her finger on the trigger. She couldn't breathe until she heard a voice she didn't expect in her state of mind.</p><p>"Liv...Liv it's me, honey. It's Elliot." She released the breath she'd been holding but still had her gun aimed at her boyfriend/former partner who had come in the door and was trying to soothe her. His arm is reaching for her gun as he gently coaxes her back to the present.</p><p>"El?"</p><p>"I'm here. Please give me the gun sweetheart. You're safe I promise."</p><p>"El?" He can see flickers of recognition slowly breaking through the clouds in her eyes.</p><p>"It's just me. No one else. I won't let anyone hurt you. I would never hurt you." She lowers the gun slowly, looking into the calming blue eyes that had been her stability, her anchor for so long.</p><p>"Elliot?"</p><p>"What do you need Livia? What can I do?" His voice was gentle and loving. Soft but strong enough to hold her steady.</p><p>"Step back for a minute I...I just need a minute." Her hand was shaking and she still had a light grip on her gun.</p><p>"Ok...Ok…"</p><p>"Did you uh…lock the door?"</p><p>"Yeah, babe. It's locked."</p><p>"Ok." She set the gun on the counter and looked at him for a minute.</p><p>"Elliot?"</p><p>"You're ok. You're with me, not Lewis. I should've texted you to let you know I was home-"</p><p>"Home?" That word seemed to bring her back to the present. He had the fight the urge to hold her in his arms. She would come to him for comfort when she was ready.</p><p>A few seconds of silence and then:</p><p>"Elliot! Oh my god…" She gasped in horror at the fact that she had almost shot her boyfriend. She could've hurt him. She could have <em>killed </em>him. He steps closer to her cautiously.</p><p>"Honey it's ok. I'm not hurt. It's alright." He could tell she was fighting tears.</p><p>"El...I'm so sorry I-I-"</p><p>"Shhhh it's alright Liv..come here." He opens his arms and she walks into them without hesitation, burying her face in his neck and inhaling his scent. They were holding each other securely, not tight enough to hurt but tight enough to be comforting and keep Olivia grounded. "What can I do?"</p><p>"Just hold me. That's all you ever need to do El." He kissed her head softly kept his arms tightly around her as he swayed them side to side to soothe her. "When I heard the keys I just...I couldn't be unprepared...not this time."</p><p>"I know...it's ok."</p><p>"No it's not...I'm about to perjure myself in open court tomorrow and I almost shot you. He's turning me into a monster. Just like him."</p><p>"No." His voice was firm; he was using the protective tone on her that he often used on his kids, the tone she had become familiar with herself during their partnership. "You listen to me, Olivia Benson. That wasn't you. What happened just now, that was the PTSD, you were triggered. You thought I was an intruder because I failed to give you a heads up. I knew better. I'm the one who should be sorry. You had no control over your reaction."</p><p>"And that...that scares the crap out of me Elliot. Because what if I <em>had </em>shot you? What if you were-"</p><p>"No….You can't think like that sweetheart. Please. Don't go there. I'm here. Nothing happened."</p><p>"But if-"</p><p>"Do you know how many hours I laid awake at night while you were missing wondering if we were gonna find you in time? Wondering if your body was dumped somewhere on the side of the road? Thinking about how you were cold and scared and-and." His voice cracked. "How I'd failed to protect you?"</p><p>"El..babe-"</p><p>"If you go there it will destroy you. Having those thoughts about someone you love...it eats at your soul. You did nothing wrong, Olivia. I'm ok. You're ok. We're both here and we're both safe."</p><p>"You didn't fail to protect me. You know that right? That's not true. Not by a long shot." The tears in his eyes broke her heart, but in them, she saw his intense love for her.</p><p>"He wouldn't have taken you if I had been here and not on that stupid job."</p><p>"Yeah, he would have. He just would've..done something to hurt you first. He's clever El."</p><p>"I wanna kill him. I swear to god I could go down to Rikers right now and tear him apart limb by limb and he wouldn't even make it to trial." She could see the rage building and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"I know you could...but you won't." She used the same firm tone he had used with her earlier.</p><p>"He deserves-"</p><p>"I know. But you don't. You don't deserve to spend the rest of your life in prison for murdering William Lewis. He's not worth it. Don't let him do that to you. To me. To <em>us</em>."</p><p>He looked away from her and she could tell he was still distraught.</p><p>"He hurt the love of my life. No one hurts you and gets away with it Liv...<em>no one</em>." His voice was low and cold.</p><p>"Does that go for you too? Cause losing you would <em>kill</em> me." He pulled her into his arms again.</p><p>"I won't do anything I just-"</p><p>"I know babe. I know. I thought I <em>had</em> and now I have to lie in open court and-" Her voice broke.</p><p>"Liv-"</p><p>"I can't do it El. I can't testify with him questioning me...I can't listen to his filthy version of events I-" He tightened his arms around her securely and cut her off with a reassuring kiss.</p><p>"Sweetheart I wish I could make this all go away. All I can promise you is that I'll be in that courtroom with you."</p><p>"Elliot-"</p><p>"Whether or not you testify is up to you. But you know as well as I do how many victims have told us testifying against their attackers to help put them away was worth it. Just like you told them it would be." She scoffed.</p><p>"I lied about that too."</p><p>"No, you didn't. Olivia, you survived the abuse and you'll survive the recovery. You tell victims that all the time and it's the truth." It gutted his heart having every time he thought of the fact that this woman he loved so much had been a victim, had gone through what she'd spent years saving others from.</p><p>"But in most of those cases, it was the sleazeball defense attorney interrogating them. I have to look at William Lewis, Elliot. I have to look at him and watch him smirk while I tell the court every twisted thing he said and did to me, things he said he was going to do to me." <em>Things not even you know about, but she didn't voice that part out loud. </em>She shuddered in his arms and he pulled back slightly cupping her face with his hand.</p><p>"Look at <em>me</em>." Elliot's voice was gentle, his blue eyes soft and loving. "When you're up there focus on me, honey. Don't look at him. I'll be your strength." She leaned in and kissed him deeply.</p><p>"You <em>are </em>my strength El. I just...my skin is crawling just thinking about him but to have to listen to his voice-"</p><p>"Shhh, I know baby. I know." He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead.</p><p>"But I have to do this...don't I?</p><p>"Only you can answer that Liv. I'm not gonna sway your decision either way. I won't take that control from you." If it was possible, that made her love him even more.</p><p>"If I don't…" She looks away from him for a moment. "If I don't...then who knows who he'll go after next."</p><p>"You can't do that to yourself sweetheart. You gotta do this for you, no one else."</p><p>"I'm scared El." He was the only one she'd ever admit that to.</p><p>"I know you are...but I also know that you're the strongest woman I've ever known, and if anyone can take this monster down it's you."</p><p>"I was only strong because you were my partner."</p><p>"I still am, for better or worse. We give each other strength Liv. You give me just as much if not way more than you say I give you."</p><p>"Tell me how to do this Elliot." She squeezes his hand tightly.</p><p>"You already know Liv. you're gonna go in there and give him the hell he deserves and you're gonna remember that no matter what is said in there, no matter what the outcome is that I love you, more than life itself. That's all you need to know." Her tears had stopped and she smiled gratefully at him. He really was her connection to strength.</p><p>"I love you too El."</p><p>"You can do this." His Stabler grin melts away the fear in her heart.</p><p>"I know I can."</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>The next morning came way too quickly for either partners' liking and Olivia groaned and snuggled tighter into Elliot's arms, wishing she could just stay in them and hide from the world.</p><p>"Morning." His voice was raspy from sleep and he kissed her head lightly.</p><p>"Not yet." She mumbled and he chuckled, wanting nothing more than to delay the events that would take place in just a few hours as much as possible.</p><p>"I love you." He leaned down to kiss her sweetly and give her reassurance and nuzzles his nose with hers. Before she could respond her phone rang and she swallowed hard, squeezing Elliot's hand. She put it on speakerphone and rested it on her partner's chest next to where her head was laying.</p><p>"Benson." She felt Elliot press a feather-light kiss to her head, reminding her he was there.</p><p>"<em>Liv it's Barba...just wanted to check on you. Make sure you're ready for today."</em></p><p>"I have to be."</p><p>"<em>Your squad can't be in there during your testimony, I tried to make an exception but the DA won't allow it. I'm sorry I-"</em></p><p>"I know you did...uh….can Elliot-"</p><p>"<em>He can be in there." </em>She breathed a sigh of relief, she knew the only way she could get through this is if Elliot was with her.</p><p>"What time...what time do we need to be there?" Elliot's voice cut in.</p><p>"<em>2 hours….and Liv?"</em></p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"<em>We'll get him." </em>He spoke strongly and Elliot replied.</p><p>"You better...or I'll finish him myself." He growled and Olivia kissed his shoulder lightly and ran a comforting hand across his chest. His muscles relaxed under her touch.</p><p>"<em>Don't let my boss hear me say this but I wouldn't stop you." </em>Despite the circumstances, the exchange between the two men brought her a sense of security. They would both do anything to protect her, especially Elliot. He would kill to protect her and had before.</p><p>A few moments of silence past between them after Barba hung up.</p><p>"El?"</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"You can uh...you can shower first." He could tell she was nervous without even looking at her.</p><p>"Talk to me Liv. Tell me what's going through your mind. Tell me what I can do. Please." His eyes were filled with love and concern and she felt so calm, and so safe when she looked into them.</p><p>"You're already doing it. Just be there."</p><p>"Always." She buried her face in his neck, scared to leave their bed and his arms and face reality. "What are you thinking baby?" He has been so worried about her and she didn't want to add to that by telling him how nervous she felt.</p><p>"How much I love you." He kisses her forehead.</p><p>"I love you too sweetheart. So much." He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the kitchen. Any other day she would've protested but after Lewis and especially today being the day of his trial she craved Elliot's overprotectiveness and comfort. He set her on the counter while he made her a cup of coffee and then one for himself.</p><p>"Kinda like old times huh? Leaving for court to bust a perp together? Getting our own coffee to avoid the stuff Munch makes? He chuckles lightheartedly and grins. But his smile drops at her response.</p><p>"Except this time…" <em>I'm the victim</em></p><p>"We're together. We're gonna get through this together. That's what matters." He scoops her up in his arms again to carry her to the couch.</p><p>"I'm gonna take a shower. Come get me if you need something." He gives her a quick peck on the lips.</p><p>She watched him walk back to their bedroom and sighed. He was everything to her and she hoped that after hearing her testimony, the disgusting and vile things Lewis would make her say, she hoped Elliot would still love her as unconditionally and strongly as he did now. She didn't know what she'd do if he didn't.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>They walked into the courthouse with their hands locked tightly together. The squad had sent Olivia messages of love and encouragement that morning and with that and her loyal life partner by her side, she felt like she was ready for whatever was thrown at her. Barba met them at the door to the courtroom and gave them a nod of support.</p><p>"I'll give you two a moment." Before she could say anything Elliot's arms were around her and she held onto him tightly.</p><p>"I'll be in the second row ok? Just focus on me."</p><p>"I know." She was surprised her voice wasn't shaky. He pulled back and cupped her cheek in his hand.</p><p>"I love you. No matter what." <em>Please don't let this be the last time I hear those words.</em> She responds with a deep kiss because it's the best way to convey everything she's feeling. They stay like this until the bailiff walks out and says:</p><p>"It's almost time." Elliot gives her one last squeeze before they make their way to their seats. He walks to the left and front of her slightly to shield her from Lewis's view and when they sit down, him in the row behind her he puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.</p><p>"The prosecution calls Detective Olivia Benson to the stand." She feels like she's about to throw up as Elliot helps her to her feet. Her eyes lock with his.</p><p>'I'm here' is what they say to her. 'I know you are' is what she tries to communicate back. Her eyes lock with Barba's as she walks to the stand and tries to look anywhere but at the man on the other side of the courtroom. She takes a shaky breath as she gives her oath and is grateful when Barba angles himself to the side of her to block Lewis from her view while also being far enough over that she can lock eyes with Elliot, her blue-eyed anchor. Her stability.</p><p>Elliot tries to contain his rage when Lewis makes an outburst during Barba's questioning causing Olivia to jump. After trying to regain her composure she found his soothing blue eyes again and he relaxed. He needed to be strong for her, but he couldn't help the tears that formed in his eyes at what she'd been through.</p><p>A few more questions then the ADA says the words that make Olivia's heart stop:</p><p>"The prosecution rests." She sees Elliot's eyes darken and narrow dangerously as Lewis stands up as if to warn him that he would kill him without a moment of hesitation consequences be damned if he tried anything. Olivia tries to take comfort in her former partner's fiercely protective stance. As long as he was here she was safe. She gulps and struggles to keep her eyes locked with his. She gives Lewis a harsh glare when he notices, smirks and tries to block her view of Elliot. She doesn't even realize how badly she's shaking until Barba voice cuts in.</p><p>"Objection. He's intimidating Detective Benson." She locks eyes with the ADA who had become one of her best friends and releases the shaky breath she'd been holding. When the judge orders Lewis to move back and out of her view of Elliot and Barba, she locks eyes with Elliot again. His jaw is clenched and the look he gives her tells her his restraint won't last much longer. Barba stands in front and to the left of him slightly, looking ready to murder Lewis himself.</p><p>"She didn't seem very intimidated when we were spending time together, captivated is more like it." She was pretty sure she could hear Elliot's growl.</p><p>"In your dreams." She snapped, finding comfort in Elliot's gaze, which seemed to be burning holes in the back of Lewis's skull.</p><p>"Admit it, detective...you were taunting me...telling me you knew what I had done to those women, that I wasn't man enough to do it to you-"</p><p>"It was a tactic...to stay alive!"</p><p>"After all these years investigating sex crimes you've become...attracted...is that it?... You were just waiting for us to have sex. You were practically begging-" Olivia bit back a fearful whimper when she felt his breath on her neck and that was Elliot's undoing.</p><p>"GET AWAY FROM HER YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled as Barba yelled out "Objection! Badgering!" Her breath was shaky and short as she tried to keep from having a panic attack on the stand.</p><p>"Mr. Lewis, back away from Detective Benson. I'm not going to warn you again. And Mr. Stabler, if I hear another outburst from you I will ask you to leave." The judge spoke sternly and Olivia's breath hitched. She locked eyes with Elliot trying to communicate for him how badly she needed him there and that she wasn't sure she could handle it if he was removed from the room. He was her steadying force, her rock, her stability.</p><p>"I'm here." He mouthed to her and she nodded. "I love you." Those words seemed to give her the spark of strength she needed to snap back at Lewis.</p><p>"Rape isn't sex." Lewis ignored her statement and looked behind him and Elliot who had his fists clenched in barely contained rage.</p><p>"That was your old partner huh? You didn't like me talking about him very much. What was it you said? He would break every bone in my body?"</p><p>"He would've." She spoke strongly as a tear fell from her eye and more blurred her vision. His blue eyes seemed to say to her 'I'm about to' and she tried to communicate back 'don't. I need you.' Her skin was crawling and she fought back the urge that told her to run into her old partner's arms and seek shelter.</p><p>"How many times have you two done it? He probably doesn't even want to touch you now, does he? All those scars on your body. I'm still in your head at night aren't I? He can barely even kiss you without you thinking of me." She had to look away from Elliot then. She hadn't told him everything Lewis had done. She trusted him with her life and had been ok with his touches since the trauma hadn't fully set in yet. but the fear he would be disgusted by her had crept back.</p><p>"Objection! Detective Benson's personal life is not on trial here."</p><p>"Sustained...you're on thin ice, Mr. Lewis." Barba, sensing Olivia's slow descent into panic asked for a recess which the judge granted. She, however, was frozen on the stand and was staring at the wall, not wanting to look anyone in the eye.</p><p>"Liv." She knew it was Elliot without even looking. When his arms opened for her though she clung to him, trying hard not to sob. "You don't have to do this any more honey. I can talk to Barba, you know he'll understand. We can go home."</p><p>"Then I'll be letting him win El."</p><p>"Excuse me?" She recognized the woman who had interrupted them as the jury forewoman. "Several of us are bothered by the fact that William's injuries haven't been discussed." The glare Elliot sent her caused her to back up a couple steps.</p><p>"He's lucky he doesn't have more." He snapped.</p><p>"I just think that the police brutality Detective Benson showed makes her less believable." Luckily Barba stepped in.</p><p>"You bothering my Detective?"</p><p>"Just questioning her motives."</p><p>"Screw you." Olivia snapped, still wrapped in Elliot's arms.</p><p>"She's unstable."</p><p>"Your 'William' over there is about to be unstable if I get my hands on him," Elliot growled.</p><p>"Mr. Barba this man needs to be banned from the courtroom, he has made multiple threats-" Olivia clung tighter to Elliot.</p><p>"I didn't hear anything," Barba smirked. The woman scoffed and walked away and Barba decided to leave too, allowing the couple a few moments of vulnerability.</p><p>"I'm so proud of you Olivia. I hope you know that." She didn't respond, not wanting to move her head from the safety of the crook of his neck. A spot she found endlessly comforting because she could feel the vibrations of his soothing voice and could rest her hand over his heart and feel the strength of his muscles underneath his shirt, and smell his cologne that reminded her that she was safe. "Baby…" his voice was hesitant, but to her, it was still soothing. "Can I ask...about that last thing he said? That didn't come up in your testimony?"</p><p>"He didn't...not-not all the way...not what you're thinking. He got on top of me but he didn't…" She could feel him release a breath he had been holding. "Remember Sealview...how I...told you what would've happened if Fin hadn't gotten there when he did?" He swallowed hard and she felt him nod. "Lewis...got um. He-" She was shaking in his arms and he rocked them gently, trying to comfort her. "He got further than Harris did." His muscles tensed and he felt bile in his throat. He didn't have to ask her what that meant.</p><p>"He made you-"</p><p>"Yeah." Her voice cracked. "And I had to...I had to beg him. I had to tell him I'd do anything to live and that I had to-" she let out a sob she'd been holding.</p><p>"Shhh, we don't have to talk about this sweetheart. I'm sorry. Shhh."</p><p>"I'm gonna have to tell Barba anyway since I left that out of my statement. I might as well tell you."</p><p>"What happened baby?"</p><p>"I told him...I told him I'd get on my knees and do whatever he wanted if he just let me live."</p><p>"Oh my god."</p><p>"I'm sorry Elliot. I should've fought harder I'm sorry-"</p><p>"Oh honey, no you didn't do anything wrong. This is on him, not you." Her sobs broke his heart. "Come on I'll take you home. I'm not putting you through another second of this."</p><p>"I have to El."</p><p>"No, you don't. You've been through enough." There was a part of her that wanted to give in to his overprotectiveness and let him take her home and hold her until this nightmare was over. But she couldn't give Lewis that satisfaction.</p><p>"Elliot please." He tried to keep dark thoughts out of his mind that wondered how many times she'd been forced to say 'please' to Lewis...followed by 'stop' or 'I'll do anything'.</p><p>"Are you sure?" His concern for her was overflowing.</p><p>"I've got you. I can do this."</p><p>"You'll always have me. I love you, Olivia. Very much."</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>Elliot's last words to her during the recess seemed to give her a sense of confidence during the second part of the cross-examination. Lewis made a pathetic attempt to convince the court that she'd used excessive force to which she consistently responded: "I did what I had to do to subdue you." She kept her eyes locked with Elliot's until Lewis snapped.</p><p>"You wanna look at him? Too bad...I'm blind in one eye thanks to you!" She shrank back in her seat when he raised his voice, trying to find Elliot but tears were blurring her vision. "LOOK AT ME!" She could hear the judge calling for order and Barba saying "Objection!" But her mind was forced to focus on the beast in front of her for the first time since he held her captive.</p><p>She struggled to speak without picturing him looming over her.</p><p>"I did...what I had to do...to subdue you." Her voice cracked.</p><p>"You took a metal bar while I was handcuffed and BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE!" Her eyes were frantically searching for Elliot, like a drowning sailor searching for their life vest. She couldn't breathe, and when he leaned in close enough for his saliva to drip on her she was paralyzed.</p><p>The room erupted in chaos. Elliot, unable to be restrained by any of the 4 security officers that had run in tackled Lewis, his hands wrapped around his neck and his eyes wide with fury. Barba finally convinced him to let go before he snapped Lewis's neck, telling him Olivia had run out of the room and he needed to find her and take her home and console her. Her testimony was done, he wasn't putting her through anything else.</p><p>"You think this is over? Your pretty little girlfriend will never be the same again." Elliot wanted to kill him but now his mind was focused on finding Olivia. When he found her in the stairwell his heart broke. He could tell she was barely holding it together and approached her slowly. He gently pulls her into his arms and she cries into his chest.</p><p>"El-Elliot"</p><p>"Shhh, it's over sweetheart. It's over. You did great. Everything's gonna be ok now."</p><p>"He could walk-"</p><p>"He won't, the jury's not letting him off. Not this time." She doesn't respond and his heart breaks because she's crying too hard to speak. "What can I do Liv? Tell me what you need. I'm here."</p><p>"H-hold me. And don't let go."</p><p>"Oh, baby I promise you I won't ever let go. I've got you, sweetheart. Shhh deep breaths, I've got you. I'm never gonna let anyone hurt you again." He's cradling her in his lap so he can rock her gently as she cries.</p><p>"Tighter." He wraps his arms tighter around her and kisses her head.</p><p>"We're gonna get through this. I love you and I've got you. I'm here. You're safe. El's got you."</p><p>She snuggles deeper into his embrace and tries to focus on his heartbeat, the gentle timbre of his voice as he soothed her, his strong and loving arms that were wrapped securely around her for protection, anything to catch her breath and get the monster out of her head. She tried to speak but it was muffled in his shirt, she didn't want to leave his arms. He was her shelter.</p><p>"Hmm, what baby?" He cooed to her, still speaking in a soft and gentle tone. She sniffled and lifted her head to meet his eyes, he leaned his forehead on hers and kissed a few tears. She closed her eyes feeling warmth wash over her.</p><p>"I said I love you too." She really did. So much. He kissed her forehead gently.</p><p>"Let's get you home huh?" She leaned into him as they walked back to the car and he kept a supportive arm around her waist.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>"That forewoman...he was playing her." She said while cuddled in Elliot's arms on their couch.</p><p>"He's not getting away with this Liv. I promise."</p><p>"You can't promise me that El...no one can...he's gonna-"</p><p>"I won't let him near you again Olivia. I <em>can</em> promise you that. I'd go down there and kill him right now if you wanted me to. I'm gonna protect you like I should have the night he took you. I know you're worried sweetheart but I <em>promise</em> I will not leave your side."</p><p>"I'm not worried about that El. I know you'd protect me I'm just..I'm terrified that-" His heart cracked at the tears in her voice. The phone rang before she could say anything else and she was grateful Elliot answered because she didn't know if she could.</p><p>"Stabler." She felt his muscles tense as she heard Barba's words.</p><p>"<em>Jury's back."</em></p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>She gripped Elliot's hand tighter as the verdicts were read.</p><p>"On the charge of assaulting a police officer, we find the defendant not guilty.</p><p>"Elliot-" She whispered shakily.</p><p>"Shhh, it's gonna be ok." He wrapped his arm around her and she cuddled into his side.</p><p>"On the charge of attempted rape of a police officer….we find the defendant not guilty." Elliot wanted to shoot Lewis <em>and the</em> jury forewoman but his focus was on the woman shaking in his arms.</p><p>"On the charge of kidnapping….we find the defendant guilty." She released a sob of relief then and was glad it was muffled by Elliot's shirt</p><p>"On the charge of murder...we find the defendant guilty." She sags against Elliot who helps her to her feet.</p><p>"We did it Liv...it's over." She breathes in his scent that makes her feel whole and it's in his arms that she allows herself to relax for the first time in days. He holds her tightly in a cocoon of protection and whispers sweet nothings in her ear.</p><p>She knew the road to recovery would be a long one but she knew she could get through it as long as she had him by her side. She hears her squad and Barba congratulating her but the only thing she's focused on is how safe she feels in Elliot's arms. Her protector. Her partner. Her shelter.</p><p>"I'm going to request the max." She heard Barba say and one of Elliot's strong arms left her briefly to shake his hand.</p><p>"Thank you," Elliot spoke with tears in his eyes, and the exchange between the two men warmed her heart. She knew they both cared for her deeply and would do anything to protect her.</p><p>She didn't hear Lewis being led out of the room or see the glare the jury forewoman tossed in her direction. No, she allowed herself to find peace in the only place she ever truly could.</p><p>In the arms of her anchor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Thoughts?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Mother's Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: I'm on summer break and I'm excited to get back to writing! Here's another one-shot before I get back to work on the multi-chaps. Some morning EO fluff. Olivia and Elliot are now married and this is her first mother's day as a Stabler. Set present day.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She woke up feeling peaceful. The way she had felt every morning since her wedding 2 months ago. The sunlight glistened through the windows and reflected on her diamond wedding ring on her nightstand. Some days she had to pinch herself to remember she wasn't dreaming and this was really her life now. She smiled with her eyes still closed and ran her hand across the bed, but realized the loving and strong arms that were usually wrapped protectively around her every morning and the warm chest that had become her favorite pillow were missing. How late had she slept? Her boys must have gotten up early. Her smile grew wider. Her <em>boys. </em>She had a <em>family. </em>She was a wife, mother, and stepmother and those were her favorite roles in the world. She noticed messages on her phone from her squad that reminded her even more how special her new life was. 'Happy mother's day Lieu Stabler.' Sonny Carisi, the newest member of her squad had always liked to call her Lieu for short. He had started adding <em>Stabler</em> to his greeting because they all loved how happy she seemed now that she and her former work partner were official partners for <em>life.</em></p><p>"Knock knock." She heard her husband's gentle, playful tone she had gotten to know since they became a family.</p><p>"I'm awake." Their son Noah came running in the bedroom.</p><p>"Mommy!" She laughed as he jumped on the bed and kissed his head.</p><p>"Good morning sweet boy." He wraps his arms around her neck.</p><p>"Happy mother's day mommy. I made you a card." She giggles at his excitement.</p><p>"Well thank you I can't wait to read it."</p><p>"Daddy and Eli made you breakfast. We put the cards on the tray." She gasped.</p><p>"They did?" She was smiling so big she thought her face would burst.</p><p>"The famous Stabler pancakes with bacon and eggs. I'm letting Eli finish and bring them in. Figured he was old enough to make his 'Livia' a mother's day breakfast." Her heart swelled with affection for her husband. The little things he did to make her feel like she had always belonged in the Stabler family made her love him more and more.</p><p>"I can't wait." She settled Noah on her lap and stretched her other arm out for Elliot to join them. She leaned her forehead against his when he wrapped his arms around her and Noah and kissed him sweetly.</p><p>"I love you." He kissed her again and rested his chin on her shoulder.</p><p>"I love you so much more, baby." Before she could reply with her usual 'not possible' her youngest stepson came through the door with a tray of food, flowers, and beautiful handmade cards.</p><p>"You guys are gonna make me cry on the pancakes." She sniffled and Elliot leaned in to kiss her tears away.</p><p>"Happy mother's day Livia."</p><p>"Thank you very much, Eli. This looks delicious." Elliot kissed her temple as Eli settled on their bed in between them.</p><p>"The other kids are coming to see you around lunchtime but they dropped their cards off yesterday."</p><p>"You guys are the best." Eli wraps his arms around her.</p><p>"No, <em>you're </em>the best Livvy!"</p><p>"Aww thank you, sweetheart."</p><p>"I couldn't agree more." Elliot stated as she finished eating her 'famous Stabler mother's day breakfast.'</p><p>"Read your cards now mommy," Noah said and she laughed at his persistence.</p><p>"Ok ok."</p><p>
  <em>Dear Liv,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy mother's day from your oldest 4! You and dad may only have been married for 2 months, but you've been part of our family since we can remember. We will always miss our mom, but we know we wouldn't have our little brother if it weren't for you. You really stepped in and helped us when mom died and we are forever thankful. You're the best stepmother any kids could have. If dad had married someone else, we'd punch her in the face and make him marry you! We love you very very much.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth, and Richard-not Dickie</em>
</p><p>Olivia laughed through her tears at her oldest son's insistence that he no longer be called by his nickname now that he was a man.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Mama Livvy,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You are my favorite person in the whole wide world! You give the best hugs and have the prettiest smile and you make the best spaghetti and I love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy mother's day</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Eli</em>
</p><p>She half laughed and half sobbed at the love she felt herself be showered in. She kissed her youngest stepson on the head before reading the next note.</p><p>
  <em>Dear mommy,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You're the best mommy ever! Happy mother's day, love you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Noah</em>
</p><p>"You guys are the sweetest." She sniffled and kissed Noah's head.</p><p>
  <em>To the love and light of my life,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy first mother's day as a Stabler, sweetheart. I love you so much more than words can say and seeing you as a mother just makes me fall in love with you even more. You are the most compassionate, selfless, loving, strong, beautiful woman I know and these kids are lucky to have you. Reading their messages to you reminds me that I'm the luckiest man alive myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With all my love always,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-your El</em>
</p><p>"This is the best mother's day ever." Elliot kisses away her tears and all three wrap her into a hug.</p><p>She thinks to herself that she has never felt more whole or loved in her entire life than in moments like these. She has never been more at home than when she was with them and her other stepchildren. She loved them more than anything in the world.</p><p>Her <em>family</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Just a short and sweet one :) I'll go back to my multi-chaps next!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Last little piece of writing before I take a break when online classes start. This is what I imagined in my head as the reason Kathy and Dickie were going to be in the season finale before the virus canceled it. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She glanced at the stack of files on her desk. SVU wasn't for everyone, so she wasn't surprised only 4 people had requested to join her squad. What surprised her was the name at the top of the stack.</p><p>
  <em>Richard Stabler-Beat Cop-55th precinct-earned gold shield on 5/1/20</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stabler</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stabler</em>
</p><p>Shit.</p><p>Richard Stabler.</p><p>Dickie.</p><p>Her old partner's son.</p><p>
  <em>Elliot's son.</em>
</p><p>She'd been fairly certain she'd never come across or hear that name again unless it was an obituary. Maybe not even then.</p><p>9 years was a long time to hold on to anger; it had worn off over time. Still, she wasn't sure she wanted to work with another Stabler. And Dickie? He was the last one she would expect would follow his father's footsteps.</p><p>Who would she partner him with? Not Amanda. She knew her detective had a history of being close to whoever she was partnered with, and she didn't want to cause her any more pain. After all, the Stablers may say they were always loyal and faithful, but they were pretty shitty at showing it.</p><p>Then again, denying him the job because of his family was hardly professional.</p><p>She put Dicke's file to the side; she'd decide on that later.</p><p>Her mind was too scattered for a Stabler right now.</p><p>15 minutes later she realized the universe did not give a damn.</p><p>She heard a commotion in the squad room and somebody yelling that they wanted to speak to the person in charge.</p><p>"Uh, cap?" Kat stepped into her office. "There's someone looking for you. She says it's urgent."</p><p>"Send them in." When she realized the woman she'd just told Kat to send into her office was a very frazzled looking Kathy Stabler, she wished she hadn't said those words.</p><p>"Kathy!?" She said in disbelief. The other woman looked older, but it was definitely her.</p><p>"Olivia? You still work here?"</p><p>"Yeah, and it's Captain Benson now."</p><p>"If you still work here you'll understand my concern. Dickie-Richard wants to join SVU and I need you to not allow it."</p><p>"Excuse me?" She was still stunned to see the woman in her office all this time; much less making such a request.</p><p>"Whatever you have to do; I can even arrange a lunch meeting if you want to talk to him. Actually yeah, you'd probably be better at talking him out of it than I am."</p><p>"Kathy you can't really expect me to-"</p><p>"Olivia please I'm at the end of my rope."</p><p>"Kathy I don't understand. I haven't heard from anyone in your family in a decade, and you want me to talk to your son like the past years didn't happen?" Then she carefully adds, "what does his father think about him being at SVU?"</p><p>"His father!?" Kathy scoffs. "Come on Olivia like you don't know."</p><p>"Considering I haven't seen or spoken to him in 10 years, no I don't. Look Kathy I get it; I'm a mother now too and there's nothing I want more than to protect my son, but Dickie is an adult. It's his choice." She's surprised to see tears in the blonde woman's eyes.</p><p>"I don't want to lose my son. I don't want this job to destroy him like it did Elliot." She emphasizes the name as if challenging Olivia to say it. "This job stole so much from him, from our family. I don't want my son to be another casualty of it." Olivia's heart stops.</p><p>"C-casualty?"</p><p>"He really hasn't reached out to you?"</p><p>"No." Her voice broke. "He left me when he left the job and cut us out of his life." She's afraid to ask but goes for it. "Is he-did he-"</p><p>"He's still alive; physically anyway."</p><p>"Oh thank god." She swallowed a sob of relief. She couldn't take any more death this year.</p><p>"Olivia...there are aspects of Elliot that I would love to see in our kids. This wouldn't be one of them. You were his partner for 12 years. You saw what it did to him. I'm begging you. Tell Dickie he can go into computer crimes or something, but when he applies to join this unit don't let him. Talk him out of this. Please."</p><p>"And if he doesn't listen to me?"</p><p>"You're the CO of this squad; tell 1PP he's not fit to join the unit. Tell them he failed a psych eval or something."</p><p>"Kathy I can't just lie to my bosses for you."</p><p>"Please at least talk to him?"</p><p>"Well all of the applicants have interviews coming up, so I'll be talking to all of them and making sure they have a good reason for wanting to join. I'll be evaluating their character, their work ethic, several qualities before I hire them."</p><p>"That won't help! He's got a big heart, so his intentions are good. You'll have to try something else."</p><p>"Kathy it's not my job to tell your son what he can and can't do. I'm not his mother. After the way your family cut me out of your lives, I'm not even his friend. I don't understand. Why now? Does Elliot know you're doing this?"</p><p>"That man doesn't even know what year it is Olivia. All he does is drink. He never leaves his apartment except to go to a bar, and his kids haven't heard from him in almost as long as you have."</p><p>"That doesn't sound like the Elliot I know." She shakes her head in disbelief, but then again, did she really know him anymore?</p><p>"Dickie's already got his father's anger issues. I don't want him to have this other crap too. He's been in and out of rehab, but nothing seems to work. He's turned into a worthless, miserable blob of booze. I'm trying to protect my son from becoming that." She replied bitterly.</p><p>"I don't understand why none of you told me about any of this? You know I would have helped."</p><p>"He didn't want you to see him like that because of your mother. He spent 2 months in a hospital under suicide watch because he tried to eat his gun several times." Olivia's heart broke at what she was hearing.</p><p>"Kathy, he saw me at my worst countless times over the years. I wouldn't have cared." Kathy made a helpless gesture.</p><p>"We tried to get him to call you! He loved you too much to put that burden on you. He didn't love me too much obviously. We got a divorce and I told him to quit moping around and get help, or he wouldn't see his kids again. He chose the booze over his family Olivia. I can't let that happen to Dickie."</p><p>"I-" She pulled out a piece of paper and wrote something on it.</p><p>"You want to see proof of just how badly Dickie needs to stay away? Here's Elliot's new address; until he gets evicted and has to go into a group home. Again." She rolls her eyes. "See for yourself what a miserable bastard your old partner is now."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: I'm sorry that wasn't the usual happy EO I'm used to writing. I hate painting El in this light. He's one of my faves and I love him. But I needed an outlet for the anger I'm feeling right now, and writing is a good way to cope. This is just a oneshot; not a fic at this time. But the ending is open ended, so you get to decide what happens next. Does she go see him? Does she talk to Dickie? Or does she do something else? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the reviews :) Once I get settled into classes I may still have time to write occasionally. We'll see. Talk to you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Blink Your Lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Hello again! You can thank the writing support group chat on Twitter for the fact that I am once again procrastinating on adulting to write a one-shot. Hahaha. Based on the season one episode Stalked. Oh, and I'm changing a couple of things about this episode. While EO aren't an established couple, he and Kathy are divorced. I don't like writing him married. ;) Due to this episode being about Stalking some parts may be triggering. Proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She poured the orange juice into the pitcher and made a mental note that she needed to buy some more next time she went to the grocery store. Of course, she had no idea when that would be. The job took up most of her time, so her fridge was rarely, if ever, fully stocked.</p><p>She didn't mind though, after all, that's what delivery was for, right?</p><p>The realization that she needed to buy more orange juice reminded her of the discovery her partner had made the night before; that their perp, Richard White, knew which store she frequently shopped at. She had brushed it off. It could easily be a coincidence and as sweet as it was of her partner to be protective, even going so far as to offer to do her shopping for her, he had to be overreacting about this. She had a gun. She could take care of herself if she had to. She wasn't going to panic until there was a real reason to.</p><p>Elliot was overreacting. Right?</p><p>She couldn't deny that White had made her uneasy, but she didn't want to grant him the satisfaction of making her anxious. She was sure he wouldn't be the first perp to set his sights on her and if she wanted to prove she could do the job she couldn't let him get to her. Therefore, she decided, Elliot was overreacting.</p><p>She had to keep telling herself that so she wouldn't focus on how Richard White had made her skin crawl. She wasn't afraid of him, but she wanted to get him off the streets as soon as she could so he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else.</p><p>A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Despite her confidence that White wasn't after her, she looked through the peephole before opening the door.</p><p>"Who is it?"</p><p>"Elliot." She hadn't been expecting him, but she smiled when she heard his voice. "One of your neighbors let me in. I was just in the neighborhood. I thought I'd give you a lift."</p><p>She almost rolled her eyes, but deep down she was glad to have a partner that had her back and looked out for her.</p><p>"Elliot, what's going on? Last night Munch offered to give me a ride home."</p><p>"Munch did that?"</p><p>"Yeah. That's not like him, is it? Then this morning you're offering to drive me to work? 'In the neighborhood'?"</p><p>"I was."</p><p>Bullshit.</p><p>"You have the sedan with you?"</p><p>"Yep."</p><p>"Which means you drove all the way uptown from the Queensboro Bridge, dropped off the car, picked up the sedan, turned around, all the way back downtown to get here? That's <em>a lot</em> of neighborhood, my friend."</p><p>"Stop acting like a cop." This time she rolled her eyes.</p><p>"That's what Richard White would like me to do," She reached into the cabinet for a glass to pour the orange juice in and then turned back to Elliot. "Look, I appreciate everyone's concern, but we don't know that White is coming for me. He may have gone out of town."</p><p>"I just don't want to take any chances. That's all."</p><p>"I know that and I-are you <em>seriously</em> drinking from the <em>carton</em>?" He shrugged, and she took the orange juice carton from his hand and gave him her glass. He took a swig and handed it back to her.</p><p>"I'll tell you what since I drank from this carton I'll go to the store and buy you a new one, and any other groceries you need."</p><p>"You just did that so you would have an excuse to be my bodyguard. I'll be fine Elliot." His phone rang before he could respond, and they each took one last swallow of orange juice before heading to the address Cragen gave them.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>The urgency to get White off the streets was amplified when they discovered Louise's body that morning. As was the squads' concern for Olivia's safety. Cragen stopped her before she could follow the other detectives out of the precinct.</p><p>"Benson, you got a sec?" She inwardly groaned knowing what he was going to say.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I don't want you out there today."</p><p>"I need to be out there." She protested.</p><p>"No. Come on, you really pissed this guy off. He's focused on you. If he's still in the city you could be next on his list.</p><p>"I need to watch my partner's back."</p><p>"We'll get him someone else."</p><p>"Captain-"</p><p>"Olivia, I will be fine knowing that you're safe," Elliot spoke up as he reentered the room.</p><p>"You guys-" She sighed and shook her head at Elliot who had moved next to Cragen. She addressed her boss first. "Captain when I first came on board here you told me I don't get to pick the victim. So what if I'm the next potential vic?" She could see Elliot start to speak, but she cut him off. "The same rule should still apply. Let me do my job."</p><p>The looks on their faces told her they didn't like it, but they knew when she was determined to do something trying to stop her was no use.</p><p>"I want you back here <em>safe</em> tonight."</p><p>"She will be," Elliot responded to the Captain before Olivia could speak. "I'm not letting her out of my sight."</p><p>"El-"</p><p>"I'm just as stubborn as you are, Benson."</p><p>"Fine." At Cragen's orders, they were about to leave the room when a delivery person arrived carrying a large bouquet.</p><p>"Is there an Olivia Benson here?"</p><p>"I'm Benson."</p><p>"Two dozen roses. Your boyfriend must really love you."</p><p>"I didn't know you were dating anyone." Concern colored Elliot's tone as Olivia flipped the note over.</p><p>"I'm not."</p><p>"Son of a bitch." The words <em>No hard feelings</em> were etched in red ink.</p><p>"Where do you work?" Olivia addressed the delivery man, refusing to focus on herself and the clear threat White made against her.</p><p>They were directed to Eva's Garden Florist and Events where they learned the flowers had been charged to the credit card of Richard White's mother, Lila. His mother told them her son was there that morning borrowing money. She gave him her card because she assumed he had none. He told her he was going back to Manhattan.</p><p>"He was going to look up some special lady friend. A policewoman." Elliot's jaw clenched and the color drained from his face when he and Olivia exchanged a look. "I told him he should drop her before she started taking from him. No offense, but I know you people don't make any real money, and for that, you get to deal with filth all day."</p><p>"All shapes and sizes." Elliot gritted out and placed his palm on the small of Olivia's back as they walked back to the car.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>To ease his worry, Olivia didn't object to Elliot driving her home that night. They rode in a comfortable silence as he drove. The streetlights lit their path as the rain pelted the windows.</p><p>"My jacket is in the backseat. You can wear it. It's got a hood. I don't think this storm is gonna let up anytime soon."</p><p>"Elliot I'll be fine. I'll just run in."</p><p>"Olivia you don't have an umbrella or a jacket. Take it. I don't want you to get sick." Her heart warmed at his words. Even though his overprotectiveness could be annoying sometimes it was nice to have someone who cared for her as he did. She wasn't used to that.</p><p>"Alright. I'll bring it to work tomorrow to give back to you."</p><p>"You're not getting rid of me that easily." He gave her a soft smile. "I'll be by to pick you up around seven."</p><p>"El-" He parked and cut her off before she could finish.</p><p>"I'll walk you in."</p><p>"I know how to protect myself. I'm not a civilian."</p><p>"You're not a superhero either."</p><p>"Elliot, if I let White change my life in any way he wins. I'm not gonna let him win."</p><p>"This isn't about winning."</p><p>"Yeah, it is."</p><p>"Blink your lights when you get inside." He told her that every time he drove her home, but she knew tonight those words carried more weight.</p><p>"You're just gonna sit out here all night until I do aren't you? You stubborn son of a bitch."</p><p>"Yes, I am." He <em>always</em> would.</p><p>She slipped his hoodie over her head and stepped out of the car.</p><p>"See you tomorrow." He watched as she walked into her building, and he kept his eyes glued to her window until he saw her lights flicker.</p><p>He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, but he didn't leave. He couldn't shake the fear that if he drove away something would happen, so he leaned his seat back and took the keys out of the ignition. He didn't care if he was being paranoid. He wasn't going to leave her. Not tonight.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>It was two in the morning when Olivia poured another glass of orange juice. She couldn't sleep and she didn't know if that was because of White, or because she was wearing Elliot's hoodie. She could smell his scent on it and while it was warm, comforting, and made her feel safe, it also stirred up feelings she'd been trying to ignore since they became partners. She tried to shake the images from her mind of how it fit his muscular form, and what it would look like if he took it off and was shirtless.</p><p>She groaned.</p><p>Yeah, she wouldn't be sleeping tonight. It wasn't the first time she'd thought of her partner this way and she was sure it wouldn't be the last.</p><p>She was broken from her thoughts by a knock that put her on alert instantly. She moved to where her service weapon was, but before she could pick it up the door was thrown off its hinges.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>Elliot realized he must have dozed off and his heart jumped into his throat as he remembered why he was in the car outside his partner's apartment in the first place. He had intended to stay awake the whole night to keep watch. What if something had happened to her while he was sleeping? He pulled into a parking spot and stepped out of the car. He tried to tell himself she was probably fine but decided it couldn't hurt to check on her just to be sure. She may be irritated with him but at least he'd know she was safe.</p><p>The shouting he heard when he got to her floor amplified his fear and he pulled his gun as he raced to her apartment.</p><p>"I don't like being ignored!" The voice was undeniable, full of anger and grit, and muffled the sound of shuffling against the hardwood. "This is how it's going to go, Olivia." She tried to reach for the knife but was trapped under his weight. She realized she would have to go with her last line of defense and screamed.</p><p>"Help me!"</p><p>Seemingly, as suddenly as it had started, the weight against her was gone, but she was still paralyzed on the ground. She sat up shakily to see her partner restraining her assailant. The two men threw a few punches before Elliot wrapped his arm around White's neck in a chokehold, forcing him to drop the knife.</p><p>"Liv! You ok?" Elliot called out to her once their perp was unconscious on the ground. Olivia couldn't find her voice for a moment and just looked at him. "Did he hurt you?"</p><p>"Not really. You got here in time. Thank you." She was still out of breath from being pinned under White. "I thought you went home. How'd you know?"</p><p>"Well, when there's a scumbag going after my partner I like to stick around." After placing the handcuffs on White he walked over to Olivia and helped her off the floor. She leaned into him slightly as she steadied herself. "You sure you're ok?"</p><p>"I'm fine El. We should call Cragen." Elliot nodded but didn't move away from her as he did so.</p><p>He stood close to her until the squad arrived, and the minute they left he was back at her side. He noticed the orange juice carton spilled on the ground and realized she'd dropped it in the struggle.</p><p>"I'll buy you some more juice and I'm staying on your couch tonight."</p><p>"Elliot I'm fine. We got White."</p><p>"Still. That would've been a traumatic experience for anyone. I don't want to leave you alone tonight. Please let me stay?"</p><p>The earlier panic was still etched in his features.</p><p>"Alright." Maybe she could use the company, and she couldn't deny that she felt safer with him around. "Thanks, El."</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>He'd only been asleep for ten minutes when the sound of her bedroom door opening woke him up.</p><p>"Hey." He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "You alright?"</p><p>"I can't sleep." He could hear the vulnerability in her voice, something he wasn't used to hearing, and it made him want to murder Richard White. "It's just...I thought I'd be able to fight him off but he...if you hadn't shown up when you did-" Her voice was shaking. "I can still feel him."</p><p>"Come here," He knew not leaving her alone had been a good decision. She sat next to him and he wrapped his arms around her as he leaned back on the couch. "I've got you. You don't have to be strong tonight. I'm here. You're safe now."</p><p>"Elliot I thought...I've never been as scared as I was at that moment." She leaned her head on his chest and allowed his heartbeat to soothe her.</p><p>"I know. I'm sorry I didn't get up here sooner."</p><p>"It's not your fault."</p><p>"Shh, I know. Try to sleep, ok? I'm right here. I won't let anyone hurt you."</p><p>"I know you won't."</p><p>"You want the light on tonight?" She considered it for a moment but shook her head.</p><p>"I'm ok. You've got me."</p><p>"Always, partner."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Thanks for reading! If only something similar could've happened at the end of season fourteen too right? *wistful sigh. Please review!</p><p>Thanks to my beta FragileVixenFic :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: An Angsty one shot at the request of a friend and fellow writer. Happy birthday Anne Bensler! Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was only supposed to last six months. The feds asked him to go undercover for six months. He was supposed to go undercover for six months and then come home. He wasn't supposed to miss a decade of his kids' lives. He wasn't supposed to miss a decade of <em>her </em>life.</p><p>Her, meaning his partner, Olivia Benson.</p><p>He was going to go see her when he got home after the sixth month undercover operation and explain everything. He was going to apologize for ignoring her calls, and for not telling her he was leaving SVU. He was going to tell her how he felt about her because he didn't want to waste any more time. He was going to take her out to dinner and tell her that even though they would no longer be partners at work</p><p>He hoped they could become something else.</p><p>He was going to tell his wife that she deserved to be happy and that he felt like an asshole for staying married to her when they both knew they were only married because of their kids.</p><p>He was going to do so many things. <em>So many things.</em></p><p>The one thing he had managed to do was have his medallion and mini badge sent to Olivia so she would know that he was okay and that they'd see each other again soon.</p><p>
  <em>Semper Fi-El</em>
</p><p>He wished he could have written more, but at the time he didn't dare to say anything else. He felt like a coward for that.</p><p>Then six months quickly turned into a year. A year of seeing horrific things being done to innocent women and children and not being able to stop it because he had to maintain cover.</p><p>At the end of that year, he thought the operation was over. He told himself that it had only been six months longer than planned and he could still do the things he was planning to do.</p><p>Except it was far from over because he was pulled back under for three more months.</p><p>Those three months became three years.</p><p>He didn't recognize himself anymore. He hated the person he'd become. Even though it was an act; even though it wasn't him. He'd been forced to go along with the scum he'd spent decades putting behind bars. He wanted out.</p><p>He missed his old life. He missed his kids.</p><p>He missed his Olivia.</p><p>No, he knew she wasn't <em>his</em>, but he wished she was. He loved her. He loved her so damn much.</p><p>He wondered if he would ever make it out alive to tell her, and he hated himself for not taking the chance before he went undercover. He just hoped she was ok. He hoped she had found happiness. If anyone deserved it it was her.</p><p>That hope was shattered when he learned that his worst nightmare had come true.</p><p>His former partner, the love of his life, had been kidnapped and held hostage by a serial rapist and killer. She was found alive. She was rescued. He was beyond thankful for that, but the fears of what could have happened to her during her ordeal haunted his dreams to this day. As did the immense guilt he felt at not being there to protect her.</p><p>If he had been there, he would have driven her home, he would have told her to blink her lights, and when she didn't he would have known she was in distress. He would have stopped William Lewis before he got a chance to touch her.</p><p>He would have killed him.</p><p>He only learned about the second abduction after the beast was already dead. He was furious, and nearly strangled Dean Porter for not telling him sooner. Most of all, he hated him for not letting him go home so he could help find her.</p><p>All he could do was hold onto the hope that the operation was almost over. Then he would go see her, and helping her heal would be his main priority. If she let him that is.</p><p>Then three years morphed into six.</p><p>He wondered if Olivia had found someone who made her happy, who comforted her when she had nightmares, and supported her through the healing process. He wondered if she found someone who made her feel safe like he wished he could. Dean told him about her promotion at SVU, and his heart ached to go to her ceremony and tell her how proud he was of her. How he always knew she could do it. How he was the luckiest cop in the world to have had her as his partner.</p><p>His oldest daughters were out of college by now, and he wondered if they liked their careers, and if they had started families of their own.</p><p>He wondered what college his youngest daughter had chosen. He wondered if she liked it and what she had decided to major in. He worried about the normal stuff fathers worry about with their college-aged daughters, and hoped she had friends she could trust that would keep her on a good path.</p><p>He wondered if his oldest son had gone to college, or if he ended up joining the military after all. He was against the idea of him joining back when he was in high school, but he didn't have a say in the matter now.</p><p>He wondered if his youngest son had joined a little league baseball team. He was nine now, and it saddened Elliot to think of how much of his son's childhood he had missed.</p><p>He wondered if Kathy was remarried.</p><p>Hell, he even wondered if his mother was still alive.</p><p>He felt disconnected, isolated, and alone. He felt like a shell of who he once was. He wanted out, but was there anything left to go home to anymore? He had abandoned his family, his partner, everyone he had known. Even if he did return, they had every right to want nothing to do with him.</p><p>Six years rolled painfully into nine.</p><p>It was finally over. He could go home, but instead of the joy he thought he would feel, he felt empty. The last decade had taken its toll on him mentally and physically. He didn't know if he'd have anything to go home to. He didn't know who he was anymore. He wasn't even sixty years old yet, but he felt twenty years older.</p><p>Another few months marched on. He rejoined the force as the Captain of the city's Organized Crime Unit. He reunited with his kids and was slowly getting back on good terms with them again.</p><p>He still had yet to muster up the courage to talk to the one person who had been heavy on his heart all these years. The person he worried about and thought about every single day. The person he hadn't stopped loving no matter how much time had passed.</p><p>His former partner.</p><p>His Olivia.</p><p>This past week his unit caught a case they would have to work with SVU which meant seeing her again was inevitable. He had no idea what he would say. He had no idea how she would react. He wouldn't blame her if she was angry with him or just ignored him completely. He deserved that. She had every right to be upset with him. He just hoped she'd let him give her the explanation he owed her. He hoped eventually they could talk things through and become friends again, if not something more.</p><p>As he walked up to the sixteenth precinct, the building that had been part of much of his adult life towered over him. He took a deep breath and opened the door.</p><p>He was glad he was the only one in the elevator because memories immediately flashed through his mind of the last time he saw her nine years ago. Most of all he remembered the fear he felt that Jenna would shoot her next, how in a split second he shot a teenage girl in the chest to save his partner, and the look of horror on his partner's face as Jenna bled out in his arms. He clenched his fists tight to try and stop them from shaking. This wasn't going to be easy and he hoped he had the strength to walk into the squad room.</p><p>Before he could give it another thought the elevator doors opened and he stepped out.</p><p>There was no turning back now.</p><p>He walked down the hall he once knew so well and addressed a uni standing outside the bullpen.</p><p>"Is Captain Benson in her office?" His question was answered by a shocked voice behind him.</p><p>"Elliot?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Just a one-shot, y'all can decide what happens next. :) Thanks for reading! I'll be posting a For Better or Worse update on Halloween in just a couple of weeks, so if this left you craving some established EO, it's coming soon!</p><p>Thanks to my beta FragileVixenFic!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Stakeouts and Gratitude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Little Thanksgiving oneshot idea I thought of set in season seven. Pre-Fault. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was late November in New York and snow was already falling. The temperatures were expected to drop below freezing but it was Thanksgiving, and most of the city would be in the warmth of their home with their families.</p><p>At the one-six precinct in Manhattan, it was a different story. Everyone had gone home except the Captain and two detectives. None of them had a family to go home to, so they decided to keep themselves busy with work. Olivia Benson was used to spending the holidays alone. Elliot Stabler, however, wasn't. This was the first year since his divorce had been finalized, and he had been down all week.</p><p>He looked up from his computer when his partner placed a pumpkin spice latte on his desk.</p><p>"Thought some caffeine might cheer you up."</p><p>"Thanks, Liv."</p><p>"Anytime, partner," Olivia tilted her head with the sound of Elliot's sigh. "El, if you need to talk you know I'm here."</p><p>"I just-how could she do this the week before thanksgiving? Our marriage has been over for years. I fell out of love with her a long time ago." <em>And into love with you, </em>his mind added, but he didn't have the guts to tell her that. He shook his head in frustration. "But, to take the kids with her to meet her new boyfriend's family in Boston? On Thanksgiving? I know I was a crappy husband and father but-"</p><p>"Elliot, you are an amazing father and she knows it. She's selfish. She doesn't deserve you or the kids. It's not because of anything you did."</p><p>"I tried to call her to get her to at least let me talk my kids. She just yelled at me and said they were better off with her and Chad. The new guy she's seeing. Of course, he's not exactly new since she was seeing him behind my back for five years." He scoffed. "You know she accused me of sleeping with you again?"</p><p>"Which I don't understand. I've always supported your marriage El, we've never-"</p><p>"I know. She's just projecting. You know even if that were true at least I would have the decency to make love to you in <em>your </em>bed or the cribs or something. I wouldn't screw you in the bed I shared with my wife while she was at work." He blurted without thinking, and she raised her eyebrow at him. "Hypothetically of course."</p><p>"Yeah, hypothetically," They had been more flirty with each other since his divorce, never crossing the line, but getting close. "It's her loss El. You're ten times hotter than that Chad guy anyway, and uh, I like the idea of the cribs the best," She smirked and got up to take some paperwork to Cragen's office, leaving him stunned.</p><p>When she came out a few minutes later the Captain was behind her, and the look on his face told Elliot they would be working late tonight.</p><p>"What's going on?"</p><p>"You and your partner will be spending the evening in your car outside Mueller's residence to see if he shows."</p><p>"Ah, a stakeout in thirty-degree weather. Just how I like to spend Thanksgiving," Olivia snorted at Elliot's sarcastic retort.</p><p>"Don't mind him. He's just now having his morning coffee. It'll be fun El. We can tell secrets and listen to Christmas music," She teased and Elliot gave her a look. "Come on, you know you love being stuck in the car with me."</p><p>"You're not too bad," He smirked and turned to Munch and Fin, picking up a stack of papers on his desk. "Plus that means you two get to do all this."</p><p>"Paperwork. My favorite pastime." Munch piped up.</p><p>"At least it'll keep you from talking about big brother and JFK old man." Fin joked, and Olivia smiled and shook her head at their banter.</p><p>"Have fun kids." She teased as she and Elliot grabbed their badges and guns and left the squad room in sync.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>As the sun started to set both partners knew two things they were thankful for this Thanksgiving: that the heater was working in the sedan, and that hot chocolate existed. The steaming beverages helped to keep their hands and throats warm as they kept their eyes focused on the suspect's home.</p><p>For Olivia, Thanksgiving had always been just another day of work. She never took the holidays off like Elliot did because she didn't have a family to spend it with. What was she gonna do? It wasn't like she could cook Thanksgiving dinner, or anything, really. It would end up just being a turkey sandwich from the deli while she sat alone in her apartment and watched a boring movie.</p><p>Talk about depressing.</p><p>She knew her partner on the other hand was struggling. Even though his childhood wasn't great, he'd spent most of his adult life making sure the holidays were fun for his kids. This would be the first time in the seven years she's known him that he was in the same boat as her: alone on Thanksgiving.</p><p>Her heart ached for him. She was used to being alone for the holidays, but it still hurt. She knew he was beating himself up, thinking if he'd been a better husband and father he'd be at home eating a plethora of food and laughing with his family tonight. He wouldn't be stuck in a squad car outside a rapist's home with his partner.</p><p>She wanted to scream at Kathy. What the hell was wrong with her? She had everything Olivia had wanted. She had a loving, devoted husband and four amazing kids. She had the family Olivia could only dream of having, and she chose to break it up. For what? Her new boyfriend Chad was a doctor at the hospital where Kathy worked. His hours weren't exactly more reasonable than Elliot's, so if she reasoned that he would be home more, that was bullshit.</p><p>And as if having a five-year affair wasn't enough, she won't even let Elliot talk to his children on the telephone? What a fucking bitch.</p><p>"Who is?" Oh, she had muttered that last part out loud. Olivia took a long sip of her hot chocolate before responding.</p><p>"Mother nature. This weather is depressing," She quickly covered up. Although Elliot probably wouldn't object if he knew she was referring to his ex-wife.</p><p>"You can say that again."</p><p>"This weather is depressing," Elliot snorted at her sarcasm.</p><p>"Do you think he's gonna show?" He asked her, referring to the suspect.</p><p>"Well we've been out here for three hours and so far he hasn't," She looked over at her partner and her concern for him deepened at the obvious stress on his face.</p><p>"When was the last time you slept, El?" He sighed.</p><p>"What is sleep?"</p><p>"Why don't you lean the seat back and close your eyes. I'll wake you if he shows," He shook his head.</p><p>"I just keep going over this past year in my mind wondering what I did wrong, what I should've done differently."</p><p>"It's not your fault. It's Kathy's."</p><p>"I don't even care that much that she had an affair. We haven't been in love in years. Our marriage was doomed to fail from the beginning. It's the fact that I haven't been allowed to even talk to my kids on the phone that's killing me. I know I could've been a better father, but still-" He was cut off by his phone ringing.</p><p>"Stabler. Yeah, we're outside his house he hasn't shown. Why?" He takes a sip of hot chocolate as he listens to the caller. "Well, I guess our work here is done, then. Thanks, Fin," He placed the drink in the cup holder and started to drive away.</p><p>"Are you gonna tell me why we're leaving?"</p><p>"Mueller's dead."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"He slid on a patch of ice and drove his car into the Hudson. You want some food?" Her stomach growling answered his question.</p><p>"You bet. Chinese?"</p><p>"I think we deserve an actual Thanksgiving dinner tonight."</p><p>"Does that mean you're cooking for me, Stabler?"</p><p>"Me? No. The church makes a big feast every year for lonely people who can't cook."</p><p>"Like us?"</p><p>"Like us," He gave her a small smile as they drove across the bridge into Queens. "I thought we could go pick up some food and take it to go then head back to my place. Unless you have plans?"</p><p>"You know I don't," She returned his smile, thankful that this year she had someone to spend the holiday with.</p><p>She was even more thankful that the someone was her best friend.</p><p>He turned the radio on and chuckled when 'I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas' came on and Olivia groaned.</p><p>"God, not <em>this</em> song. It's too early for Christmas, anyway. It's Thanksgiving. Where are the Thanksgiving songs?</p><p>"What Thanksgiving songs?"</p><p>"I don't know, how about the one about riding through the woods to Grandma's house or the pilgrim's pride one?" He laughed but felt a tinge of sadness at how little knowledge of the holidays Olivia had.</p><p>He knew she hadn't gotten to have the traditions and memories he did, and he wished he could change that for her. He turned the radio off and cleared his throat.</p><p>"Would you like me to sing to you?"</p><p>"Absolutely not, but thanks for the offer."</p><p>"Hey, I'm not <em>that</em> bad. I'll have you know I was in a couple of school plays back in the day," She snorted.</p><p>"El, that was like fifty years ago," She teased.</p><p>"Nuh-uh," He whined. "I'm forty-two."</p><p>"And a half," She smirked.</p><p>"Yeah yeah," He rolled his eyes playfully.</p><p>
  <strong>X</strong>
</p><p>A half-hour later they were at his kitchen table with boxes of food and a bottle of wine. Elliot lit a couple of candles and set the table with a nice set of plates that were only used for special occasions, so it would feel like a real holiday dinner. He grabbed wine glasses for both of them and opened the bottle, filling the glasses with the sizzling beverage.</p><p>"Here's to...seven years of partnership and friendship. Cheers." He clinked his glass with hers.</p><p>"I'll drink to that." Elliot distributed the food onto their plates so they could dig in. "Ok so, I don't know much about the holiday family traditions. What do we do now? Do we tell each other what we're thankful for or just start eating? What are the rules?" He grinned at her.</p><p>"There are no rules Liv. This isn't formal, it's just two friends eating food together." She returned his grin.</p><p>"I know that, but I also know that you miss your family this year. I don't want you to have to forgo any Stabler family traditions just because I'm not used to them. Tell me. Is there a football game that should be on in the background or something?"</p><p>"You think I have time to keep up with sports with the job we have?"</p><p>"Good point. So what else?"</p><p>"Well there's the prayer, but since you're not religious-"</p><p>"No, but <em>you </em>are. I'm not going to complain if you want to bless the meal. I promise," She just wanted to make him feel better.</p><p>He'd had a rough time lately, and she wanted to help him have as normal of a Thanksgiving as possible. She'd put up with anything he needed if it made him happy. Plus, while he was right about her not being religious, she admired his dedication to something as sacred as his faith. She knew it was important to him so she'd honor it.</p><p>"Alright." He cleared his throat and bowed his head, placing his hand on top of hers. "Father in Heaven, Creator of all and source of all goodness and love, please look kindly upon us and receive our heartfelt gratitude in this time of giving thanks. Thank you for all the graces and blessings you have bestowed upon us, spiritual and temporal: our faith and religious heritage, our food and shelter, our health, the love we have for one another, our family and friends." He glanced at Olivia after saying 'friends'. Tonight he realized she truly was his blessing because she was both a friend and family. "Dear Father, in your infinite generosity, please grant us continued grace and blessing throughout the coming year. This we ask in the name of Jesus, your son, and our brother, amen." He did the sign of the cross on his chest and picked up his fork.</p><p>"Now we dig in?"</p><p>"Yep." It wasn't until she went to reach for the knife to spread butter on the roll that sat on her plate that she realized her hand was still in his. She blushed slightly at the intimacy of the evening. The candlelit dinner, wine, and hand-holding. It would be easy to get used to, but she had to remind herself that she couldn't. Elliot was her <em>partner. </em>This was nothing more than a nice dinner between friends like he'd said. She tried to shove any thoughts about how this setting could be described as date-like from her mind. Before she could move her hand he lifted his own, took the knife from her hands, and spread butter on her roll. She raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>"El, I may not know how to cook, but I know how to spread butter on a piece of bread."</p><p>"Well, you were staring at it like it was a puzzle. I thought I'd help you solve it." He smirked and she rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Eat your food, Stabler."</p><p>"Yes ma'am."</p><p>After a few minutes of eating in silence and enjoying each other's company, Elliot spoke up again.</p><p>"So what <em>are</em> you thankful for, Benson?"</p><p>"Hmmm...not much," She joked. His hand flew to his chest in mock hurt.</p><p>"I'm wounded. I thought for sure the first thing on your list would be your handsome partner."</p><p>"The <em>first</em> thing is that I didn't have to be stuck in a car all night. The <em>second </em>thing is my goofball partner who I'm lucky to call my best friend. Your turn."</p><p>"I am thankful for my kids, my beautiful selfless best friend, food, and that I didn't have to sit in a car all night. However, if I did, I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend that time with."</p><p>"Aww, sweet talker," She returned his smile. "You better not make me cry," It was true though. She knew it because she felt the same way. For all the horrors they saw on the job, getting to spend every day with him was a treat. "Ditto though," She took a sip of her wine. "What other traditions do you have?"</p><p>"Well, we could share our earliest or favorite Thanksgiving memories?" She laughed sadly.</p><p>"That sounds depressing," She sighed. "Umm earliest?"</p><p>"Or favorite," He didn't want to make her feel pressured to tell him anything painful for her. The holidays were supposed to be happy.</p><p>"Honestly I don't remember <em>having</em> Thanksgiving growing up. My mom was always too drunk to cook. Sometimes we'd watch the parade together, or...I'd watch it while she was passed out on the couch. I've only had a real Thanksgiving dinner twice in my life. Once in college when my roommate invited me to spend Thanksgiving with her family, and tonight."</p><p>"Well, I hope tonight makes up for the years you've missed."</p><p>"It has actually. It's been really nice. Thank you."</p><p>"You're welcome," His gaze lingered for a moment, and there was something about the way she looked in the candlelight that made him want to lean forward and kiss her.</p><p>"What about you?"</p><p>"What about me?" He was still staring at her lips.</p><p>"Favorite Thanksgiving memory?" Her smile is what sealed the deal for him.</p><p>"This," He whispered and captured her lips with his.</p><p>She was in shock for a moment before she cupped the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. They moaned softly as their tongues explored and tasted. When they pulled apart they rested their foreheads against each other and Olivia gave him a couple more pecks.</p><p>"I think this is my favorite Thanksgiving memory, too."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Would you like another one?"</p><p>"I would," She kissed him this time and there was more passion, more certainty, less hesitancy. They didn't need to say 'I love you' yet. It was evident enough from the kiss.</p><p>"So much better than dessert," Olivia laughed into his mouth and pulled away.</p><p>"I still want pumpkin pie though."</p><p>"Like I could ever say <em>no</em> to you" He took the pie out of the box and gave them each a slice. "Happy Thanksgiving partner."</p><p>"I think this is my favorite holiday now."</p><p>"Just wait till Valentine's Day."</p><p>"You seem pretty confident."</p><p>"I am. Eat your pie, Benson."</p><p>"Happy Thanksgiving Stabler."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope everyone who celebrates it has a happy and safe Thanksgiving!</p><p>Thanks to my beta FragileVixenFic!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Toothaches and Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Hey everyone! This one shot was requested for LivBensonStabler’s birthday. Happy birthday Maddy! I hope this makes you laugh, and I hope you have a fabulous day! This is set in season one, and Elliot and Olivia are both single. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“El, I’m fine. It doesn’t even hurt that bad.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>tomorrow if you don’t put ice on it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you stop mothering me? I already have a mother.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who you’re having lunch with tomorrow, right? What is she gonna say about the bruise on your jaw?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that noticeable. He didn’t hit me that hard.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you please stop being stubborn and take the ice pack?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If there were a poster child for refusing medical attention and not going to the doctor unless someone dragged her there, it would be Olivia Benson. She had come to work with a toothache that she’d refused to get checked because she hated the dentist. Elliot hoped she would stop protesting after a suspect’s right hook made it worse, but after working with her for a year he should know better. She snatched the ice pack from his hand and rolled her eyes at his overprotective hovering. It did feel nice to be cared for, but he still wasn’t going to convince her to go to the dentist. After holding it on her face for five minutes she handed it back to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. It’s fine now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Liv-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to get back to work.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t at least want some Tylenol?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure. Hand me the file.” The look on her face told him he needed to drop it. The look he gave her told her he would for now, but he wasn’t above dragging her to the dentist’s office because he was just as stubborn as she was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his credit, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>drop it,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>for about five hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>X</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were sitting on her couch with Chinese takeout and beer like they usually did on Friday nights if they didn’t have to stay at the precinct. They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Elliot saw Olivia grimace and put her hand on her jaw. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ok?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I just keep forgetting not to eat on that side.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know there is a solution to that. If you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“El, for the last time I don’t need to go to the dentist. It will be fine in a couple of days. It just flares up a couple of times a year.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>couple of times a year?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Olivia, how long has this been going on?” She hesitated before responding, knowing he wasn’t going to like her answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since the year I graduated from the academy. It’s a wisdom tooth. I didn’t feel like going through all the trouble of having it removed if it didn’t hurt that much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Liv. It’s not healthy-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My mother could never afford for me to have surgery. She spent all her money on booze. Plus, it’s not like I had much money back then either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, so we’ll get you an appointment, and I will pay for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Elliot, that’s ridiculous. I’m fine. Besides I could never take that much money from you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not ridiculous, and you’re going. Why are you scared to go to the dentist anyway? Does he hit on you or something?” She scoffed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please El, if that were it, it would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> that was scared of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t like going. I never have. The only things I want near or inside my mouth are coffee and food.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>And your lips and tongue among other things, </span>
  </em>
  <span>her mind added. Elliot nearly choked on his beer, and she didn’t know why until he responded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My what?”  Oh shit, she had said the last part out loud. She hadn’t had </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> much to drink, had she?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. Forget it.” He smirked and leaned over to whisper in her ear. His voice was deep and husky, and she knew if he kept talking to her like that she was going to need a change of underwear. “I’ll tell you what, if you let me take you to my dentist tomorrow, I will put my lips and tongue wherever you want them.” She swatted him away, ignoring the fact that her nipples were standing at attention from the anticipation. “Soooo?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. If it will make you stop worrying, I’ll go.” She rolled her eyes at his satisfied grin and threw an egg roll at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks!” He caught it in his mouth, and she smiled and shook her head. He could be such a goofball sometimes, and she loved it even though she’d never admit it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or would she?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>X</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the insistence of her partner and his dentist, Olivia begrudgingly agreed to have the surgery. As expected, she fought both of them about needing someone to take care of her afterward. She agreed to stay with Elliot on the condition that he did not take more than a week off work, and that once the anesthetic wore off he let her help him around the house. There was no way she was lying in bed for two weeks, and no one was going to make her. She couldn’t deny that it was nice to have time to relax, but only for a few days. Then she would be ready to get back to work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She slept most of the ride home, and Elliot glanced over at her off and on as he drove. He reasoned that he needed to keep an eye on her and make sure she was okay, but also he loved watching her sleep. She was beautiful even with her face swollen and bruised. She was beautiful even though there was gauze in her mouth and drool on her chin. There was something about how her facial features were relaxed as she slept that made it hard to look away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As cheesy as it sounded, even though she was sitting right next to him, he already missed her voice. He chalked that up to the fact that he had heard it every day for a year and had gotten used to it.  She had become such a part of his life that it was normal to feel that way, right? It was totally platonic to miss your co-worker’s voice and to think about how beautiful they looked while they slept, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nah, he couldn’t deny it if he tried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was in deep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t pinpoint the exact date he had fallen in love with her, but it was most likely during the Richard White case. His need to protect her grew exponentially.  Not because he thought she couldn’t take care of herself, not because he thought she needed his protection, but because the thought of something happening to her </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrified </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. The thought of her being hurt gripped him with an amount of fear he had felt a few times in his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he realized that, he knew there was no way his feelings were platonic. There was something stronger there, but to act on it would put the job they both loved in jeopardy, so he settled for sneaking glances, harmless flirting, and cold showers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled into the driveway and was brought out of his musings when he saw her stir. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey sleepyhead, we’re home.” Technically they were at </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>home, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>home, but he couldn’t help it: the ‘we’re’ slipped out. It felt natural. He got out of the car and went to the passenger side, opening the door. He brushed her hair out of her face gently rousing her from her slumber. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a big nose.” He tried to keep from laughing knowing that she was still experiencing the effects of the anesthesia, and this would not be the first odd comment he would hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh do I?” He played along and smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I feel it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” A chuckle escaped him this time as she reached forward and tapped his nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s soft too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. Let’s go inside okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna carry me? You have big muscles. I bet you’re really strong. I like your arms and your chest. You’re like a superhero. You could probably lift a car.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’d probably break my back.” He reached in and scooped her up as she wrapped her arms around his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re tall too.” She commented as they walked into the house. “Don’t drop me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t. I promise.” He held her close to his chest as he carried her into his bedroom. “Let's get you to bed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ooh! what are we gonna do there?” He nearly choked on air. Did she just?...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> are gonna sleep.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you be my pillow?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-” She wrapped her arms around his torso as he set her down, and snuggled into his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is a nice pillow.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” This was platonic, right? Holding his best friend in his bed? That could still be considered platonic, couldn’t it? After all, the reason he was doing so was a) she requested it and b) it was a good way to keep her elevated. Doctor’s orders, right? Right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He placed a pillow on his chest behind her head and sat up, wrapping his arms around her waist. Again telling himself this was purely for medical reasons. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ellll?” Her voice was slurred thanks to the anesthetic making her drowsy and the fact that her face was still half swollen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I tell you a secret?” He couldn’t help but smile at how childlike she seemed at the moment. She was adorable. Perhaps that would keep unpartnerly thoughts from swirling around in his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure you can.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I always hated Kathy. I wanted you to be married to me and not her. She’s ugly.” Her boldness rendered him speechless, and he wondered how much she would remember once she was lucid again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get you a new piece of gauze, okay.” He managed to get out once he could form words again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He threw the old one in the trash and wiped her mouth gently with a kleenex. Then he wrapped up a new ice pack he had brought into the room from the fridge and held it against the side of her face. The surgeon said to just do so for fifteen minutes at a time to help with swelling. Elliot reasoned that was a logical excuse to keep holding her. Otherwise, he might lose track of time and leave it on for too long or something like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you try and get some sleep? I’ll wake you up when it’s time for your pain medicine.” He leaned back against the headboard and made sure she was elevated properly and then pulled the blanket up around her to make sure she was comfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” His protective instinct kicked in immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you kiss me on the forehead and tell me a bedtime story first?” A forehead kiss seemed innocent enough, so he brushed her hair back and kissed her softly. Then he cleared his throat as he tried to come up with a story. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Once upon a time…” He chuckled when he looked down and saw that her eyes were already closed. “Goodnight. Sweet dreams.” Of all the things she had said in her loopy state the next words melted his heart the most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Night, I love you.” He was silent for a moment, not knowing how she would feel about her confession when she woke up but decided to take a chance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Liv.” He whispered and smiled when he heard her snore. He tightened his arms around her and realized he had never felt more content. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Thanks for reading! I also wanted to mention that this idea originally came to me last year after I had a dental procedure done to get rid of a cyst on my jaw.  I wanted to write this as a way to cope with anxiety about my own issues, but never got around to it. I will be having my one-year follow up appointment and am hoping the site looks good and that there’s no cyst on the other side. Please keep me in your thoughts as it was a very scary time last year, and some good news would be welcome. Other than that this will probably be my last oneshot for a while, but I am planning a Christmas fic and then will get back to working on my multi-chaps. Hope everyone has a safe and healthy holiday season!</p><p>Thank you to FragileVixenFic and awildmind for beta reading this for me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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